Say you're texting with your bestie and this emoji pops up on your screen:
You might think to yourself, "Hmmm... donuts." But look a little closer. That's not a jelly donut with sprinkles. Nor is it a hot dog with relish on a poppy seed bun.
It's actually a vagina—one of 15 vag-tastic new emojis available at FlirtMoji, representing many shades, shapes and varieties of vajayjays, from pink taco to bearded clam. Call them vamogis, if you like.
Before now, those sharing vaginal content had to settle for emojis of a ripe peach, while eggplants and corn on the cob stood in for penises. Well, fruits and vegetables can go back to being single-entendre produce because vamogis are finally here.
Right now, some of you are exclaiming, "At last! My poonani's prayers have been answered. My vulva will have a voice." I mean, sure, everyone enjoys The Vagina Monologues, but isn't it time your vagina got to have a two-way conversation?
Of course, others may be skeptical. So if you're wondering how or why you would ever need to text on behalf of your beaver, here are 10 important things a vagina emoji can express with class and clarity:
"On the rag—who's got chocolate?" - What better way to warn friends and partners that Aunt Flo is in town than with a visual aid?
"How about warming up that speculum, Doc?" - Remind your OB-Gyn that, hey, front bottoms have feeings too.
"Just had a baby—closed for six weeks" - Inform an overly amorous spouse that your tunnel of love is temporarily out of order.
"Ask me about my clitoris!" - Encourage a romantic partner to learn your preferred foreplay techniques for more rewarding lovemaking.
"Tried the Brazilian wax. Call 911" - Modern day grooming is not for the faint of crotch. Your coochie might need an ice pack, some Tend Skin and a stiff drink.
"Oooh, yeah, baby, right there" - Sexting just got sext-ier with these anatomically correct yet non-threatening snatch selfies. (How did Millenials ever have phone sex without vamogis?)