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13 Things Prince George Needs to Know About Preschool

Today in England, something happened more monumental than the crowning of a new king or the wedding of William and Kate. Prince George started preschool.

Yup, that's right. With his adorable blond mane perfectly coiffed, the world's most famous toddler (sorry Kim Kardashian but George totally trumps North), put on his brand new backpack and marched into school. Official reports say George will be attending Westacre Montessori School a few days a week. And by all accounts, today's first day went well.

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If you're scratching your head wondering how preschool couldn't go well, then you have clearly been out of the preschool game for far too long. See, starting preschool can be one of the most stressful experiences for little ones who are learning to separate from their parents and socialize with other kids. And with many preschool-aged kids not yet developmentally ready to control their impulses or emotions, even a little prince can act like a little terror.

When you're the future King of England everything is a big deal, especially pre-school. So George, you're probably too young to read, so ask one of your teachers to read this to you. Here's what you really need to know about preschool.

1. You're going to be sick more often than you're not

Kids are like walking petri dishes and now you're in school with 15 of them. You'll be exposed to all sorts of lovely ailments like Hand Foot and Mouth disease, endless ear and sinus infections and crap even your pediatrician won't have a name for. Chalk it up to building up your immune system and try not to gag the first time you get sneezed on.

2. It's always snack time in preschool

Accredited preschools are required to feed kids at certain times of the day, which means you'll have a snack about a second after you arrive at school, which will be about an hour before lunch. Chow down and enjoy! Apples and cheese are really good.

3. Every class has a biter and a hair puller

It might even be you.

4. Your mom will come back

Just because your mom is skipping out of school after she drops you off while yelling, "I'm free!" doesn't mean she won't come back. Chances are you're going to have so much fun at preschool you'll be annoyed when she does come back. But just know that even if you're missing your mommy, the other kids are, too. Moms always come back so enjoy your finger painting and job board.

5. Peeing in the toilet is totally overrated

OK here's the deal, your parents are totally going to freak out about accidents and toilet training. Meanwhile you'll be thinking, "What's the big deal? It's not like I'm going to college in diapers." You won't. So if you miss the toilet or forget you're not wearing a diaper, just be cool. You won't go to college in diapers even if you're the last kid in class who gets out of them.

6. Playdates for toddlers are the most horrible thing in the world

Even though you just spent all day with your new toddler friends, the parents will get the bright idea that you all need to play more together after school. On that play date, someone will steal your toy, smack you in the head and boycott sharing. Meanwhile the moms will say, "Let's do it again next week." Playdates suck, even when your playdate is at the palace.

7. Cleanliness is overrated

OK your mom and dad spent all morning putting you in the most adorable outfit. They took a thousand pictures as you entered school. But as soon as you got in, you realized your sweater would make a great canvas and you even thought it would be fun to smear your snack all over your face. It's totally fine. Toddlers are the only people in the world who can be covered in dirt, paint and food AND still be called cute. Enjoy it while it lasts and pass the paint.

8. You'll make lifelong friends in preschool. (And so will your parents).

I don't know what it is about preschool, but you will make friends you'll know your entire life. And yes, you'll even grow up to be friends with that biter.

9. You'll never have anything in your backpack

Backpacks are an adorable rite of passage, but a toddler doesn't exactly need his keys, cell phone, wallet or books. Chances are, you don't even have a lunchbox in the backpack. That's OK. If a backpack makes you feel like a big kid, wear it! In just a few short years that backpack will be filled with keys, a cell phone and a ton of books.

10. Nobody gets in trouble in preschool

Pre-school is a behavior free-for-all with all kinds of otherwise unacceptable behaviors from licking to biting blamed on development. In fact, it's really the only time you can lick another human being and defend your actions by saying, "I was just curious." Enjoy being curious. It won't last forever.

11. No, that kid can't read

There's always one in every pre-school crowd, the kid whose parents swear he can read. Being able to work an iPad does not constitute reading, so relax and don't feel like you're the dumb kid in class. No one else can read, either.

12. Preschool is usually harder on the parents than the kids

While all the moms and dads may put up a brave front when they drop their kids off at preschool, they all turn into weepy worried messes once they get back in their cars. So even if you're missing your mommy a bit, it's nothing in comparison to how badly she's missing you.

13. Everyone in preschool is your friend

Since the teachers refer to all the kids as friends, all the kids must be friends right?

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So George, enjoy all your new friends and fingerprint away. Your mom will come back, just in time for you to tell her just how great your day was at preschool.

Photographs by: Duchess of Cambridge

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