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Why 'Bachelorette' Becca Will Never Marry the Virgin

THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1401" - Fan favorite Becca Kufrin captured Americas heart when she found herself at the center of one of the most gut-wrenching Bachelor breakups of all time. Now the Minnesota girl next door returns for a second shot at love and gets to hand out the roses, searching for her happily-ever-after in the 14th edition of ABCs hit series The Bachelorette, premiering MONDAY, MAY 28 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. (Paul Hebert/ABC via Getty Images)
COLTON, BECCA KUFRIN
Photograph by ABC via Getty Images

Greeting chiseled hunk of man-meat Colton Underwood for their one-on-one sailing date in the Bahamas, Becca Kufrin of "The Bachelorette" didn't know whether to kiss him or devour him whole. "We have so much chemistry and passion that he could just pick me up and do whatever," she confessed.

Perhaps that's why she had such a frosty reaction to the bombshell that, at 26, the football stud is still a virgin.

Becca had braced herself for bad news after Colton referenced a "potential roadblock" to their relationship over dinner. She was clearly not expecting the blockage to be an actual chastity belt.

"Really?" she blurted out with zero tact. It seems Becca would have preferred almost any other relationship challenge—a felony drug arrest, maybe?—as long as it wouldn't have prevented Colton from picking her up and doing "whatever" to her. What a buzzkill.

From there, it got worse. Becca excused herself to go think, leaving Colton alone and vulnerable after sharing a major secret that he'd never even told his dad. Maybe the walk-off was a producer-driven stunt to create drama, but if you're Colton, do you really want to marry someone who ditches you at the first sign of trouble, even if she has legs for days and really rocks a metallic dress?

Becca was clearly not expecting the relationship blockage to be an actual chastity belt.

But I'm not putting all of this on Becca. Because Colton, really: The explanation for why he's still a virgin makes almost no sense. (He was too busy working on "football Colton.") On the one hand, nobody should have sex before they're ready, and it's totally refreshing to see a young man—an athlete, no less—follow his heart and take his time. That's great! But I call BS on the idea that he didn't have time for sex. How long does it take a single guy to bone down? Especially a virgin! It takes 10 seconds. Literally. There's something else going on there, and I'm not sure even he knows what it is.

Despite the uber awkwardness of the virginity revelation, Becca gave Colton a rose, and next week she'll meet his family. I don't know how far their courtship will progress, but here's why I'm pretty sure it stops short at the fantasy suite.

Before Becca chooses a man to marry, she'll have a chance to road test the last three guys as potential lovers. Which is pretty important! And that leaves our Becca with an impossible choice: Either she seduces Colton and risks taking his virginity only to dump him the next day in the most public way possible, causing her to lose her hard-won "America's Sweetheart" status forever. Or she just rolls the dice and marries a virgin, which probably wasn't on our bachelorette's checklist of ideal husband attributes.

I'd venture to say the odds just got a lot better for Blake, Garrett and Jason.

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