Listen, you just can't avoid them. Everywhere you go, people—heads down, eyes on their smartphones—trying to catch a Polliwag, Zubat or a Bulbasaur.
Pokémon Go, the augmented reality game that has totally taken over cities like San Francisco and Brooklyn, is turning us into crazed, animé chasing zombies (fit zombies, though, since it's a great way to get exercise).
Kids adults, families, TV binge-watchers—like nothing else, this game, which was released just a week ago!—are getting into it. There's a time and place, though, for Pokémon Go, not just for reasons of safety and respect of strangers' privacy and property. Some players really need to figure out when to set down their smartphone and augment real life.
Here are a few of those people.
1. When your partner is giving birth, that would be a good time to PUT DOWN THE PHONE and help. (And let's hope they didn't name the baby Clefairy).
2. When driving. It's SO tempting to keep the app open while you drive, but don't. Just don't. Instead, walk, take public transportation or hire an Uber-like driver to chauffeur you around (yes, that exists).
3. When you've taken your dog on one too many walks. Let the animal get some rest!
4. When you're at work.
5. When you're at a movie premiere. Don't photobomb movie stars with Pokémen OK, maybe just one. (WE LOVE Idris Elba).
6. When you're THAT lazy that you get your dog to do all the work, maybe this game isn't for you.
7. Don't go it alone at night. If you have been bitten by the bug and want to go hunting at night, do it with a group and go to well-lighted, populated places, like these Pokémon catchers. Otherwise, you could get mugged like these people in Missouri.
8. While you're at it, don't be lured in by a van like this. Like, ever.
9. And please, for the love of all, don't trespass on people's property in a desperate attempt to catch a Pokémon. That's a sign you're taking it way too seriously.
10. While you're at it, don't wander into the Darwin Police Station. You can access the Pokestop from outside. And take their advice: Watch out for traffic!