When Hillary Clinton ascends to the White House, menstrual
blood will drip across the land as women everywhere will simultaneously remove
their tampons. On this blessed day, which will henceforth be known as the Ascension
of the Matriarchy, the blood seeping into the Earth will trigger a change in the very chemical makeup of the world and catalyze some real change. Some of
these changes will affect mothers directly. Here is a brief list of the way the
new world will work.
1. All doctor appointments, school and activity reminders
will automatically be sent to fathers, who will rise up and finally take over
these tasks as the default.
There is a manual override option for this change,
but you have to really love scheduling and fielding an email chain of 200
parents all deciding how to pay for the teacher gift — and you don't. Under the
matriarchy, you will understand that any joy you derived from these tasks was Stockholm