"Deadpool" star Ryan Reynolds isn't just handsome, talented and married to one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, he's also a father of two who makes hilariously keen parenting observations on Twitter that simultaneously has fans (especially fellow parents) both cringing and laughing along with him.
Below is a collection of Reynolds' funniest tweets that prove he's not just winning at fatherhood, but also has an appropriately twisted sense of humor to go along with it. Grab your glass of wine and read on.
Warning: He's not afraid to drop the occasional F-bomb.
What father doesn't lament over their lost innocence when wishing their child a happy birthday? Anyone? Bueller?
Reynolds clearly thinks about the long-term consequences of his daughter's actions. Pretty sure that's good parenting 101.
Here's a dad who understands the necessity of me-time.
WHISPERING IS SO OVERRATED!
STDs: better than dealing with a tantrum-throwing toddler, right? (Crickets)
One of Reynolds' many, curious baby fight-club tweets.
What isn't funny about subtle allusions of childhood trauma?
His daughter James is clearly a nappy-toting gangsta.
When asked about the hardest part of parenting, Reynolds went straight for the Soviet jugular.
Not only does Reynolds wax poetic about parenting, but he's an advocate for breastfeeding, too.
There's just not enough flesh-tone crayons to color all that, uh, skin.
I have a feeling this will be included in the next edition of "Sh*t My Dad Says."
When one Twitter user wondered what would happen when Reynold's oldest daughter could read and respond to her dad's hilarious tweets, Ryan had a brilliant reply.
Obviously, Reynolds and Mama June have a lot in common.
Wow, I missed the entire testicle section in my Little Golden Books set!
Super-villains are always so adorable when they're babies.
His obsession with baby fight club returns.
His daughter is starting to sound a lot like the main character from "The Bad Seed." You know, the murderous one.
What parent hasn't made that child-care faux pas?
Reynolds' hilarious observations extend far beyond his own children.
Every child knows five servings of vegetables ARE extraordinary suffering.
And finally, when celebrity mom Olivia Wilde asked a question many parents often wonder:
Reynolds, ever self-assured, replied:
Don't we all wish Ryan Reynolds was our hot, inappropriate, social-media-using dad? The Lively-Reynolds kids are lucky, indeed. (Even in 10 years, when they can read this and feel the burning heat of parental humiliation.)