Actress, Mom, and best skin/hair/cleavage winner of all time, Halle Berry, announced
she's pregnant at 46. Halle's news made me very, very tired.
It's not that Halle is physically too old to have kids, she's just too old to want to play with
her kids. For the next 20 years. Until she's 66. She may not know this yet, but I do.
While I have very little in common with Halle (certainly not the skin/hair/cleavage
award), I also am an old Mom.
Having a baby when you're "wise enough to know what you're doing" seems like a great
idea until the first time you wake your baby up with the sound of your knees crackling as
you walk by. Trust me, I know. My bones creak so badly, I nearly have to crawl by my
kids' rooms to keep them from thinking their mom is actually the Tin Man.
I've never been particularly age-conscious. I've done everything a bit late: married at 35,
kids at 37 and 40, and never thought twice about it. To me, age has always been just a
number. There's nothing I can do about my age, so I'm not going to worry about it, lie
about it (43 if you must know) or try to change it. (Everyone knows you're not 29, so stop
saying you are.)
I never even worried about having my babies when I did. That is, until, I had the second
one. Suddenly, my OB labels my pregnancy "high risk" despite perfect health and an
easy first pregnancy. The moms in my Mommy & Me class nearly poop themselves
when they hear my age and look at me like I'm an extinct dinosaur on display. And then,
I start to do the math.
What's hardest about being an older mom is knowing there's a chance that I won't be around for all my kiddos' life cycle moments.
When my youngest graduates high school, I’ll be 58 years old. When she graduates
college, I’ll be 62, meaning me and the hubs will be raising people well into our 60s.
Other friends who had kids younger will be taking month-long trips to Europe while we
limp our way through college tours and SATs.
But despite the future being worrisome as an older mom, it's the now part that's actually
the hardest. Being 43, it's not so easy to be up all night and go all day. Playing ninja
seems fun when you're 30. But when you're 40, stealth moves are downright impossible.
Ballet classes are sweet, until you find yourself in traction after tendu'ing yourself
through a 2-year-old's dance class. And at 40, "vacation" means The Four Seasons, not
The truth is I'm a much better mom at my age than I would have been younger. But in
between the creaky bones and the much younger Mommy & Me moms, what's hardest about
being an older mom is knowing there's a chance that I won't be around for all my
kiddos' life cycle moments. I'll take the fatigue and parenting into my 60s if I could just
have a little more time on the tail end so I could see my kiddos into their 60s.
There's only one thing those young moms have on us old gals, and that's time. So, I'll savor
every moment I have and just pray that I'm around long enough to see my little ones play
ninja with their little ones. Halle is surely doing the same.