I love celebrities, especially the ones with kids. I always feel so good about myself
whenever I read about one, being that most of them are complete wads of idiocy. No
matter how I screwed up my day or my kids, I’ve undoubtedly not screwed up as bad as the celeb parent du jour.
Like the other day, I actually forgot to make my children dinner. Just forgot. As if the
kids didn’t need to be fed. And then I saw that story about that girl from MTV’s Teen
Mom going to the offices of a porn company with her 4-year-old daughter in tow, and I
thought, Well at least I didn’t do that. Or, I read a story about Courtney Love getting into
a Twitter fight (honestly, even writing that is embarrassing) with her daughter, and I feel
relieved that I’m not hate-tweeting my own offspring. Or, there's any story containing the two
words "Dina Lohan," that makes me feel better about myself.
And then along comes Denise Richards, momming it up better than the rest of us.
You probably know Denise Richards as that “super talented” (read: really pretty and not
so talented) actress who played the world’s most unintelligent scientist in one of the
James Bond movies. Or, you remember her Oscar (Meyer?) winning performance in Wild Things in which she made out in a pool with Neve Campbell. You may even
remember Denise as the girl with the world’s worst taste in men when she married
Charlie “Winning” Sheen.
But what you don’t know is that Denise Richards is frickin’ saint.
You see, Denise married Charlie Sheen and had two daughters with him. And then she
got smart and she got out. But then Charlie, in some sort of birth-control boycott, went
on to procreate with the likes of an L.A. gal named Brooke Mueller, who seems to have a
passion for illegal substances, which leads to rehab, which leaves her twin boys parentless. So, Denise takes them in, as if the kids of her own aren’t enough.
Denise is providing these little guys with some of the only stability they may have ever known.
Honestly, when I read this story I wished those boys could just stay with Richards. At
least their dad, Charlie Sheen, has the good sense not to take full custody of them. But
their mom seems to think it’s OK to treat your home like a revolving door, with your
kids constantly coming in and out. Denise is providing these little guys with some of the
only stability they may have ever known, which seems sort of saint-like, don’t you think?
Because, honestly, if my sister or friend were constantly shipping their kids off to me and
then taking them back, I’m not sure how happy I’d be about that. Every time Mueller
screws up, Denise Richards is left to pick up the pieces. Would I do that for a friend or
relative? Or, as in this case, my ex’s ex? I don’t know how many moms would be as
gracious as Denise Richards has been. I don’t know if I would.