Lately, I’ve been hearing all kinds of opinions from my
niece, my friends’ daughters and my 11-year old son’s female friends, about which
young Hollywood celebs are considered the dreamiest teens of today. Yup, tween girls are innocently crushing on
Hollywood hunks just as we did when we were their age. But, how do the heartthrobs of today match up
to the ones of our days?
Taylor Lautner vs. Keanu Reeves
So, Taylor Lautner is a muscular werewolf, whose dark hair
and sexy poses make it somehow OK that he is often only wearing jeans and baby
oil, post-'90s. Well, the little
ladies of today may have a perfectly chiseled no-chest-hair wolf, but we had
Keanu whose dark features were just as enticing, whose acting was just as
totally forced, and who held his own next to Swayze in a wetsuit. Though he never really shook his Bill and Ted
mannerisms or “dude” voice, he did manage to master the low, whisper-voice to
successfully pull off blockbuster hits like Speed and The Matrix.
One Direction is basically Harry Styles, right? And he has thick, curly hair to die for. But does he kind of, just a little, resemble
a young, brunette Meg Ryan? Admittedly, the only One
Direction song I know is that generic sounding, “You don’t know you're beautiful ... ” song which sounds straight out of a modern, high school adaptation
of Grease. But even though Harry has
that cute, Brit, pop thing going on, we had Jordan and Jonathon Knight, Mark Wahlberg’s
older brother, starry-eyed Joey McIntyre and that guy that looks like he’s
related to Ben Stiller. They were
harder, Boston boys with much edgier accents who gave us unforgettable hits
like: “The Right Stuff,” “Step By Step,” “Hangin’ Tough,” and “Please Don’t Go,
Girl.” The One Direction song inspires
me to clap two times to the right and then once to the left. On the other hand, NKOTB songs have me
breaking out a sweet dance medley, which includes the Roger Rabbit, Robocop and the Cabbage Patch.
Kiefer would never have fallen for Kristen Stewart
Tom Cruise vs. Tom Cruise
Somehow, Jack Reacher still looks the same age as
Maverick. Please help me make sense of
Robert Pattinson vs. Kiefer Sutherland
There is no debate. Kiefer was the hotter vampire. I
don’t really know much about Twilight. I’m pretty sure Robert and Kiefer are two different types of vampire
characters, but it doesn’t matter. Kiefer would never have fallen for Kristen Stewart, who always looks
like her parents just told her that unless she attends red carpet events, she
would be banned from going to Hot Topic again. Kiefer gave me nightmares, in a good
way. I could tell he really wanted to
drink my blood! Pattinson just wants
some pomade, a Chai Tea Latte and a long hug.
Zac Efron vs. Zack Morris
I must admit, I am a fan of Zac Efron. I watched High School Musical with my son
like 23 times and still have the “All in This Together” dance they did at the
end memorized. He’s a talented and
charismatic guy. I even liked him enough
to watch that ridiculous movie 17 Again with Matthew Perry. And then I also watched Charlie St.
Cloud (sheepish face). I guess, Efron wins, because Zack Morris
isn’t even his real name, but everyone I know still refers to him that way. Maybe it’s because his real name, Mark-Paul
Gosselaar, is so douchy sounding. A
hyphen between “Mark” and “Paul.” Really??
Will and Jaden Smith vs. Corey Haim and Corey
These two sets of picture pals love(d) starring in movies
together. Though they tried to ride it
out too long with their reality show, “The Two Coreys” the Corey duo was
pretty entertaining in their prime, and they did some good movies like The Lost
Boys (Team Kiefer) and License to Drive. Sadly the duo can be no more as Haim died in 2010. Will and Jaden were adorbs in The Pursuit of
Happyness but After Earth has everyone confused. I really want to be a fan of Will and Jaden as
I love a good father-son duo, but if they do one more photo shoot where they
are back-to-back and shirtless, or camera-facing with matching Blue Steel
faces, I can’t support them.
Jonas Brothers vs. Baldwin Brothers
The Jonas Brothers have a cool thing going on. They are all genuinely talented and seem like
down-to-earth boys. As for the Baldwins, it’s pretty
cool that Alec Baldwin is so successful. But can we talk about Stephen? Oh, no? OK.
I still think our tween era were the glory days for Tiger
Beat. Do you think the teen idols of
today are as dreamy as ours were?