The other day I'm watching 'Trainwreck', laughing like I'm going to lose my dinner because
everything about the film is so funny. I loved the scene in which Amy Schumer
and her coworker are in the bathroom sharing their favorite Johnny Depp film. It
got me thinking: What is the best Johnny Depp film for each astrological sign.
This will be fun, because Johhny Depp is about as sexy as they come.
Taurus: Chocolat. Released fifteen years ago, this film still gets a
girl's heart pounding and mouth watering. Especially a Taurus woman who knows
her pleasure and makes it her business to have what she likes. Depp plays a gypsy
who falls in love with the owner of the local chocolate shop. It's a delightful
and timeless film.
Gemini: What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Gemini, you'll
love dissecting this family and all the challenges they face. After the
father's suicide, Depp plays the role of the young family caregiver. His life
is disrupted when someone asks him to put his happiness before the needs of
Cancer: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There's
something about chocolate and Johnny Depp—they're both so delicious! And Cancer,
your love for family and home will have you crying a river during this film.
Depp brings a unique approach to the familiar character that makes the film fun
for children and adults.
Leo: The Tourist.
Leo, The Tourist this is all for you.
Depp and Jolie are in Europe, on the run, dodging bullets and having an intense,
Virgo: Dark Shadows.
Virgo, Dark Shadows will appeal to
the part of you that loves to put things together and create order as well as
the part of you that loves figuring out madness and chaos. You'll fall for the
darkness in this film, largely because Depp does vampire in a way that gives
new meaning to "nightwalker."
Libra: Alice Through the Looking Glass. Dear Libra
you'll have to wait an entire year before you can lay your eyes on this Depp
film. But rests assured you'll be fully satisfied with Tim Burton as the
director. It will be fantastic, beautiful and timely, just the way you love
things to be, Libra.
Scorpio: Transcendence. Scorpio, your love for deep
thinking will have you over the moon for this Johnny Depp movie. Transcendence has Depp as a scientist
whose consciousness grows so strong that he becomes an unstoppable force.
Sagittarius: The Man Who
Cried. Sag, you will love this period piece. Depp is a poor but
handsome horse trainer who falls in love with Suzi (Christina Ricci), but their
romance is cut short when the Nazis' war machine comes to their town.
Capricorn: Donnie Brasco.
Capricorn, because you like to keep it real, this Depp film will be just what you
love, a true story about a clash of good and evil. Depp as Brasco is an
undercover FBI agent whose personal life and work life start to merge.
Aquarius: Alice in
Wonderland. As an
Aquarius, your love for the eclectic is a perfect match for Depp's films. Alice
in Wonderland is your story—free spirited, curious, and adventure seeking. With
Depp as the Mad Hatter, you just may decide to stay down the rabbit hole.
Pisces: Into the Woods: Pisces, you love fantasy,
art, and creativity at any angle. This film will simply rock your world, and
Depp as the Wolf will give you reason to run home to grandma's house. This is a
film where many classic children's tales collide into one fabulous musical. You
not only get Depp but you also get Meryl Streep—singing! You'll be happy,