Being a celebrity's kid seemed awesome to me when I was growing up in California. In my mind, celebs
have everything, so their kids must have everything, too, right? I assumed being
a celeb’s kid meant you were really, really happy.
Now that I’m a mom, I know better. For every photo of celeb mom Reese Witherspoon taking her kids to church, or everyone’s dream celeb mom Jennifer Garner taking her kids to school, there's a Courtney Love getting into a
nasty Twitter war with her own daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. I have to wonder
what kind of effect the eccentric and often selfish behavior of celebrity parents has on
their totally innocent kids. A celeb mom
is still a mom, and her kids are still looking to her for guidance and safety.
As a mom, there are some kids of celebs I can’t help but
worry about. I’m talking about you, Frances
Poor guy. I’m sure
his mom means well with her outspoken (and often uneducated) views on autism.
But it can’t be easy to be the kid on the tail end of the controversy. Only
scientists can tell us what’s real about Evan’s autism, but any mom can tell it
must be tough to be this kid.
Kids: Paris, Blanket and Prince Michael
Whether you think Michael Jackson was a freak of nature or
just a freak, his kids seemed to have really loved him and miss him. But with all the lawsuits and court trials,
it’s easy to forget that three kids lost their dad and never really had a mom.
I know they’re famous, but they’re kids.
Charlie Sheen’s Twins: Bob and Max
With every new Charlie/Brooke/Denise story that comes to
light (usually because Charlie Sheen tweets the story), I can’t help but feel
bad for those two little boys who’ve got a drug addict for a mom and Charlie Sheen
for a dad. At least Denise Richards’s kids have her. Bob and Max don’t seem to
have much. Heartbreaking.
This baby probably isn’t being born into the most stable home life.
I will admit I loved Bethenny on Real Housewives of New York,
but now that she’s a cast member on the
world’s longest divorce, she’s not so lovable. It's amplified now that Bethany’s a mom, as her
loudmouth bullying seems insensitive to her little girl and to her ex.
Kids: Gabriella, Milania, Gia and Audriana
These little girls have basically grown up on The Real
Housewives of New Jersey. The only problem is their parents haven’t. It’s
probably fun to see yourself on TV, except when you also have to see your dad
calling your mom a “See You Next Tuesday” on TV. Worse yet, mom and dad are
both being indicted for various crimes and could go to jail. These girls must be embarrassed and also
anxious. After all, their mom has pissed off so many people; who’ll take care
of the four Giudice girls if mom and dad end up doing time?
Demi Moore’s Girls: Rumer, Scout and Tallulah
Demi seems to be having a hard time admitting she’s not her
daughter’s age anymore. And while it must be amazing to have a mom so fit and
fun, these girls probably also wish they had a mom who acts like a mom. Oh,
and who really wants to go on a double date with their mom, especially when she
looks like Demi? Not me!
Tori Spelling’s Kids: Finn, Liam, Stella and Hattie
Cheating rumors, bankruptcy rumors, reality TV shows—oh
my! This family doesn’t seem to value
privacy as they’ve let their whole lives be filmed over and over just to make a
buck. But these kids are little, and maybe all they really wanted for Christmas was to kick those annoying cameras out of the house.
Simon Cowell’s Unborn
So Simon was sleeping with Lauren Silverman, his good
friend’s wife. She got pregnant, and Simon and Lauren stuck it out. Cool, for
now. But since Simon has said he’s not
sure what will happen with him and Lauren, this baby probably isn’t being born
into the most stable home life. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—except everything.
Oh those wacky Kardashians! They’re rich, they’re
successful, their family is falling apart. This family likes to collect
everything; including husbands, divorces and bad publicity. When the cameras stop
rolling and the selfies stop going viral, I’d imagine it’s not so fun to be a
Kardashian, or one of their countless exes.