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Dear Justin Bieber's Dad

Photograph by FAMEFLYNET

Dear Jeremy,

I must admit I can’t tell you one thing your son, Justin Bieber, has ever done. I know, I know. He’s super famous and really, really popular, to girls between the age of 10 and 11. But since I’m over 11, I can’t honestly name a Justin Bieber song. My bad. I know that makes me sound like a total fuddy-duddy.

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While I can’t name a song your kid has sung (he is a singer, right?) I can name lots of things he has done, like get arrested for beating up a limo driver or that tricky little DUI he just got in Florida. In general, I’m inclined to attribute arrests like these to something I like to call, “Stupid Celebrity Tricks,” which can often be linked to kids with too much money having too much time on their hands. From one parent to another, we know what happens when kids have too much time and money. That’s right, Jeremy. Trouble.

But recently, your kiddo was investigated for harassing a flight attendant mid-flight. Despite the pilot’s persistent requests to stop, your kid ignored his requests. Maybe it was hard for Justin to control his impulses after all that pot he had smoked while on the flight. You would know. You were there.

The one thing your kid can’t buy is a dad who loves his kid enough to be his dad and not his “bro.”

I know it must be cool to be a young dad and have this amazingly famous kid through whom you can live. It must be so rad to call your own kid, “Bro” and act like buddies. I bet you’ve even exchanged friendship rings with your best buddy, your son, in between bong hits and father/son visits to brothels in Brazil. In addition to being cool, rad and awesome, it’s also super disturbing and totally irresponsible.

Here’s the thing Jeremy, what you seem to have forgotten about being the dad of a really famous kid is that you’re his dad. It’s bad enough when a kid’s life goes awry because his parents weren’t around. It’s even worse when a kid’s life goes awry because his parents were around, as is the case with you.

Your kid seems to lack good judgment and the ability to make good choices. In case you didn’t read the parenting manual, that’s when you’re supposed to come in and offer advice, guidance and input. You’re even supposed to help your kid make good choices. Sometimes you’re even supposed to (GASP!) offer consequences for his actions. I know, bummer. I sound like a real fuddy-duddy.

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Your kid may have hit records for years to come and can buy anything his young heart desires, but the one thing your kid can’t buy is a dad who loves his kid enough to be his dad and not his “bro” and help keep his kid out of trouble instead of getting him into it. Sharing a father/son jail cell may be the ultimate form of family bonding, but probably not what you had in mind when you turned a blind eye and forgot to parent your child.

But then again, I’m just a fuddy-duddy.

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