My son had his 12th birthday this week. Now, 12 is a big one because it’s his last
year as a tween, which means he’s only one year away from becoming a TEEN! Soon, he’ll be
going through that horribly awkward time where he has a weird, wispy, sparse
mustache. His voice will start sounding
like Ralph Macchio from Karate Kid. And
he’ll start to get that punchy hormonal attitude where he gets annoyed with me
more easily and starts ending his sentences with, “GEEZ, mom!”
I hope I’m wrong about that last part, but
what I’m not wrong about is that the teens are hormonal and they start to
notice each other in a more-than-friends way. In fact, the other day, I overheard my son and a few friends talking
about a girl they thought was cute. It
was totally innocent and sweet, but it got me thinking, “Whoa, my little boy is going to be dating someday!” And
though he is only 12, and FAR (hear me, son?) FAR FAR away from the dating
scene still, I felt inspired to write down some advice for when he’s at an appropriate dating age (10 or 15 years down the road). Here it is, advice from your mama.
Be a gentleman. Have
manners. Be kind and gracious toward her. Open the door for her. Stand up to greet her. Send her flowers “JUST BECAUSE,” which is
different than, “I’m a jackass, and I’m sorry.”
2. Be Respectful
Don’t be late. Call
her when you say you will. Don’t be a flake. Don’t talk smack about her to your friends when you’re fighting. Don’t disrespect her family. I’ve raised you better than that, BOY.
Don’t just “uh-huh … yep … OK” while nodding your head. Let the words sink in and register. Listen to her. When you do that, she will trust you more and
open up to you more. Are you listening
4. Don't Lie
Just don’t. Trust
me. The girl always wants the truth,
even if it hurts. Even if it crushes her
soul. Believe me! She may be hurt but deep down she will respect
you for being honest. And you will
5. Make Her Laugh
You make me laugh every day, so this shouldn’t be a difficult
one. And make sure she makes you laugh,
too. In our family, laughter is oxygen.
6. Call, Don't Text
Right now you’re texting SMH to your friends about this one,
Don’t have bad breath.
7. Don’t Play Games
If you like her, let her know. Ask her out. Don’t wait three days to call or act like you’re busy when you’re not. The
point of running game is to make the girl feel insecure and to pique her
interest through manipulating the situation, and it’s a terrible tactic, and it
just shows your insecurity. But by the
8. Be Cool
Don’t be a desperado. Let things unfold naturally. If
the girl is not feeling you, let it be. You can’t badger someone into feeling something they don’t. Seriously, don’t be that guy.
9. Talk to Her
Communication is key. Don’t just bury the problems.
10. Don’t Be Jelly
Jealousy is a really gross trait. It shows that you are insecure, have no trust
in the girl and naturally assume that she’s deceitful. Be confident in your relationship. Default to trust. Understand that if the other person is acting
deceitful, there is nothing you can do, anyway. When a man is constantly asking, “Who texted you? How do you know that guy? Do you think he’s attractive?” He may as well
be asking you, “Do I look fat in these Man-gina jeans?”
11. Be Real
Everyone—I don’t care who they are—can smell bullshit from
a mile away.
12. Show Emotion
It’s healthy. Women
love a sensitive man. But don’t get it
twisted, sensitive does not mean “can’t hold it together.” Crying every time you have an argument, on a
scary roller coaster or during one of those Sarah McLachlan animal
commercials is not a good look.
13. Don't Be a Douche
Don’t be a know-it-all. Don’t just talk about yourself. Don’t name drop. Be happy with
who you are. Don’t try to prove
anything. And don’t constantly quote The
Hangover or Anchorman. One, and Two.
14. Don’t Take Her for Granted
15. Don’t let her take you for granted
16. Don’t Date Lindsay Lohan
17. Don't Be Afraid to Make a Fool of Yourself for
18. Don’t Date a Mean
Girl (Mean People Suck)
19. Don’t Date a Girl
Who Doesn’t Treat You Right
step in on this one. Save yourself the
20. Don’t Date a Girl
Who Doesn’t Respect Herself
21. Know That You
Don’t NEED Anyone
Know that you are
enough. Be with someone because you grow
from knowing them.