They say motherhood can soften a woman. I agree ... until it turned me into a bitch.
I've pretty much always been a "cut to the chase" person. If someone really wrongs me, I'll move on without a second thought. If you try and push me to do something I don't really want to do, I'll push back and it might not be pretty.
And becoming a mom just took it to the next level.
Should I be ashamed of this? No way! Being a bitch is A-OK, it's simply another surprise benefit of motherhood.
1. I no longer apologize for prioritizing needs—no matter what kinds of needs there are.
Sometimes, it's more valuable for my family (and myself) to be at home together on a Friday night rather than go galavanting to happy hour. Don't misunderstand: There's a time for happy hour, but there's also a time to prioritize and accept that staying home might be the thing I really need despite the temptation of talking smack over cocktails.
2. I now have more of a spine.
I never had major issue with making decisions, but now I just do it without feeling compelled to offer a long, drawn out reason why. "Unfortunately, I can't get there on Thursday." End of story. No "I have to drop off my daughter at gymnastics and then rush home to change and then get everyone dinner before I can leave" explanation or otherwise. It's simply: "I just can't get there." If you don't like it, cope with it on your own time. A bitch has a spine that she doesn't question.
3. I operate faster.
I've always believed in moving fast to save time and squeeze in as much productivity as possible (my own mom's trick), but now I've learned to make choices and decisions fast. Lots of women get a bad rep because they know what they're doing, speak swiftly and then move on. Bitches move fast and don't wait for others to catch up.
My kids, my responsibility, my unapologetic priority that has the power to put my own stuff second if that's what needs to happen to raise them well.
4. I don't care what others think of me.
This is the EXACT OPPOSITE of how I was before I had babies. Of course, I want to be regarded as honest, capable and kind—but if you have an opinion that's recklessly otherwise, so be it. I'm not going to try and change your mind. Only a real bitch doesn't care what others think of her.
5. I will bend over backward for my kids.
I've shelved certain aspirations so I can be more present at home, I guide and drive them to and fro, I cook their meals and put effort into teaching them what's right, what's not and what's what. My kids, my responsibility, my unapologetic priority that has the power to put my own stuff second if that's what needs to happen to raise them well. This might be the best kind of bitch.
Sure, becoming a mom has softened certain aspects of my personality (I now see babies as squishy and magical angels that arrive to motivate us and make us better, rather than just being crying blobs), but I also now fully accept there's no excess time in modern motherhood for slow-thinking, over-the-top pleasantries or worry about whether we're accommodating someone else at the cost of taking care of our own families and personal sanity.
It's up to us to get things done, take no prisoners and keep forging ahead.