Being a non-custodial parent has its privileges and
drawbacks, none of which I would apologize for because as I’ve learned — life
happens. In keeping with this attitude
of gratitude for what my life has become since becoming a mom nearly 14 years
ago, I took some time to evaluate my life and the gifts I’ve given my children, gifts that have nothing to do with material things and everything to do with
experiences I wish I had as a child.
As every mom knows, participating in your children’s growth
kind of allows you a do-over for your childhood, and you can’t help but compare
notes. Most often, I find myself awe-struck as I notice that their lives are so
much richer in experiences, and I am proud to say that it is partially my fault.
Who wouldn’t be jealous while watching children who:
1. Have a mom as awesome as I am. Truthfully
speaking, I am a pretty awesome mom. I may be sensitive and emotional at times,
but that’s just the icing on the cake that is made up of equal parts bad ass
and spiced rum. My mom was more straight-laced, or at least she played the
part. My sons are watching their bi-sexual, hippie, no-holds barred, fierce,
driven mom have a blast in life while achieving her goals and that impacts
their view of women and the world, opening them up to endless possibilities. I
am also painfully jealous that my sons have a mom that they can talk to about
anything. I would be a different person if I had that type of mom when I was
2. Go away to summer camp. This may seem simple but
back in my day, summer camp was only something we watched on Nickelodeon. I
don’t know of anyone who ever went to a camp, spent the night, played games by
the fire and did crafts like on TV, but my sons have. I sit in amazement
listening to their stories.
I watch daily as my sons ask questions about the world and express wonder over the things they see and hear. They don’t have the pressures of life weighing them down.
3. Travel across the country regularly. My first trip on an airplane didn’t happen
until I was 17. Because mama is a rolling stone, my sons fly out to visit me
clear across the country, seeing sights and being molded by travel that I didn’t
experience until I was an adult.
4. Are extremely close. My sons are 23 months apart
but most people think they are twins. They never leave each other’s side and
have constant companionship that they have no idea how to appreciate. Through
their parent’s broken relationship, moving in with their dad, their dad’s new
relationships, their grandmother moving in and out, a new sister, a new
neighborhood, new schools, new friends and new hair growing on various body
parts, there is one constant: they have each other. I wish I could say that I had a close
relationship with my siblings, but I don’t.
5. Are still innocent and not jaded by the world.
Remember those days when you believed in true love? Remember when you walked up
to people without fear, expecting to make a new friend and laugh a lot?
Remember how life seemed like it would be long and anything was possible and
could happen like magic because your dreams were more abundant than your life
experiences? I watch daily as my sons ask questions about the world and express
wonder over the things they see and hear. They don’t have the pressures of life
weighing them down. Their objective is to clean their room and have fun. When I
hear them talk about their daily experiences, giggle and argue over what’s for
dinner I feel a little soft spot in my heart that yearns for those days
again. I hope they can hold on to this
magical time for as long as possible. You know, before the curtain is lifted.