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5 Reasons I’m Jealous of My Children

Being a non-custodial parent has its privileges and drawbacks, none of which I would apologize for because as I’ve learned — life happens. In keeping with this attitude of gratitude for what my life has become since becoming a mom nearly 14 years ago, I took some time to evaluate my life and the gifts I’ve given my children, gifts that have nothing to do with material things and everything to do with experiences I wish I had as a child.

As every mom knows, participating in your children’s growth kind of allows you a do-over for your childhood, and you can’t help but compare notes. Most often, I find myself awe-struck as I notice that their lives are so much richer in experiences, and I am proud to say that it is partially my fault. Who wouldn’t be jealous while watching children who:

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1. Have a mom as awesome as I am. Truthfully speaking, I am a pretty awesome mom. I may be sensitive and emotional at times, but that’s just the icing on the cake that is made up of equal parts bad ass and spiced rum. My mom was more straight-laced, or at least she played the part. My sons are watching their bi-sexual, hippie, no-holds barred, fierce, driven mom have a blast in life while achieving her goals and that impacts their view of women and the world, opening them up to endless possibilities. I am also painfully jealous that my sons have a mom that they can talk to about anything. I would be a different person if I had that type of mom when I was younger.

2. Go away to summer camp. This may seem simple but back in my day, summer camp was only something we watched on Nickelodeon. I don’t know of anyone who ever went to a camp, spent the night, played games by the fire and did crafts like on TV, but my sons have. I sit in amazement listening to their stories.

I watch daily as my sons ask questions about the world and express wonder over the things they see and hear. They don’t have the pressures of life weighing them down.

3. Travel across the country regularly. My first trip on an airplane didn’t happen until I was 17. Because mama is a rolling stone, my sons fly out to visit me clear across the country, seeing sights and being molded by travel that I didn’t experience until I was an adult.

4. Are extremely close. My sons are 23 months apart but most people think they are twins. They never leave each other’s side and have constant companionship that they have no idea how to appreciate. Through their parent’s broken relationship, moving in with their dad, their dad’s new relationships, their grandmother moving in and out, a new sister, a new neighborhood, new schools, new friends and new hair growing on various body parts, there is one constant: they have each other. I wish I could say that I had a close relationship with my siblings, but I don’t.

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5. Are still innocent and not jaded by the world. Remember those days when you believed in true love? Remember when you walked up to people without fear, expecting to make a new friend and laugh a lot? Remember how life seemed like it would be long and anything was possible and could happen like magic because your dreams were more abundant than your life experiences? I watch daily as my sons ask questions about the world and express wonder over the things they see and hear. They don’t have the pressures of life weighing them down. Their objective is to clean their room and have fun. When I hear them talk about their daily experiences, giggle and argue over what’s for dinner I feel a little soft spot in my heart that yearns for those days again. I hope they can hold on to this magical time for as long as possible. You know, before the curtain is lifted.

Image via Getty Images

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