Parenting has its share of happy moments, of
funny things that toddlers say and sweet cuddles with a book at bedtime. I
would say it's 90 percent completely awesome, give or take a handful of
But no one — and I mean no one — expects it to
be perfect all the time. They know there will be fights, food feuds and
frustrations. So many frustrations.
But they're not just the obvious ones, like the complete and utter lack of sleep or logic you deal with on the daily. Moms
and dads also encounter a surprising number of smaller, unavoidable
frustrations, like Murphy's Laws that are unique to parenting.
You know about Murphy's
Law, right? The theory that anything that can go wrong, will? Yes, of
course you do — soon enough, all parents know it, because they live with it every
day. Don't think so? Consider these universal parenting truths:
1. When you find an adorable outfit in your kid's drawer that
they've never worn, they've already outgrown it.
2. You will purchase every. single. baby item on the market for
your first baby. But you will only use the diapers, a three-pack of onesies and the
3. A few years later, you'll finally get rid of all that
baby stuff. And you'll get pregnant the next day.
4. The hand-me-downs you did save for your next child will end
up being the wrong style, wrong gender or wrong size for the season when you
finally get an opportunity to use them.
5. As soon as you stock up on your kid's favorite food, they'll
stop liking it.
6. The day after you decide you no longer need to carry a
change of clothes in the diaper bag, you will need it. Badly. And you
will be far, far from home.
7. If your normally injury-free child gets a black eye, you can
bet tomorrow is school picture day.
8. If you schedule an appointment for after your child's nap,
she will sleep an extra two hours.
9. No matter how many cups your child owns, you will always
serve his milk in the wrong one.
10. You'll buy a cushy potty seat for potty training your child.
It will be bulky and impossible to store. Your child will refuse to sit on it.
11. The potty seat your child does prefer will be the one that's
the most difficult to clean.
12. If you're paying for a sitter to entertain your child, your
child will fall asleep early.
13. Your baby will spike a fever on Friday — immediately after
your pediatrician's office closes for a three-day weekend.
14. The more layers of clothing they have on, the stronger and
more inconvenient their sudden, extremely urgent need to pee will be.
15. However long you spent setting up a craft, your child will
be interested in it for 1/10th as long — and it will take 10 times longer to
16. You'll remember you needed to sign a permission slip two
seconds after the bus pulls away.
17. Your kids will fight all day long, then magically
become best friends 10 minutes before bedtime.
18. As soon as you get on the phone, your child will remember
something VERY IMPORTANT they needed to ask you.
19. Right after a bath, your kid will find a mud puddle.
20. Right after you paint the walls, your kid will find the
21. Right after you do laundry, your kid will wet the bed.
22. Right after you vacuum the car, your kid will dump an entire
bag of Goldfish crackers in the back seat.
23. Right after you clean the bathroom, your kid will go pee on
the seat and brush their teeth so vigorously it looks like they sprayed foam
through a sprinkler at the mirror.