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7 Life Hacks to Get the Most Out of Your Kids

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If you're reading this, I'll go ahead and assume you have kids, or you're at least considering getting some. That's great!

I'm sure you've been having a fabulous time as a parent so far, but — believe it or not — things could potentially get even better. Ask yourself: Are you taking full advantage of all your kids' most useful features? A quick scan of this list will help you determine if you're truly getting the most out of your offspring.

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1. Remote Control

One of the most basic kid hacks is to ask them to change the channel when the remote is out of batteries. However, not everyone realizes that kids can handle other remote control functions, too; just try to watch your favorite show while they're in the room, and their noise level will effectively mute the television! Amazing!

2. Alarm Clock

Using irritating beeps or blaring music to rouse yourself in the morning is so pre-kids. By clearly expressing to your child how tired you are and how important it is for Mommy to "sleep in for once," you'll effectively set a 5 a.m. wake-up call from a tiny finger inserted gently into your eye socket, accompanied by a 4,000 decibel, "MOMMY, ARE YOU AWAKE YET?" alarm that's nearly impossible to ignore.

3. Toy Distribution

Everyone can agree that it's a huge hassle — not to mention time-consuming — to spread toys all over every surface in your house all by yourself. But believe it or not, you don't have to suffer alone if you have children! Often, just the sight of you putting a single toy away will cause your child to trigger a volcano of toys that spews throughout your home. You'll find toys everywhere from the kitchen to the top of the china hutch, all without lifting a finger!

4. Instant Replay

Ever wonder what that thing was you said about your mother-in-law behind her back, or if you've ever said a cuss word? Your kids will definitely let you know! Although it seems like they never, ever, evereverever listen to you, they actually have a detailed memory of everything you didn't want them to hear. You don't even need to press any buttons, they'll just blurt it right out the next time you're in public!

5. Odor Creation

Before they have children, many adults experience primarily pleasant aromas such as expensive restaurant meals and the distinctive scent of recently detailed car interiors. The poor dears! Kids fulfill a basic human need for odor diversity. By remaining attentive to your kids' toilet habits, letting them play outside until they smell like sweaty rodents and waiting for them to leave dairy products unattended until they rot, you can help them provide you with a seemingly endless variety of new odors to enjoy.

6. Bathroom Cleaning

Kids have a reputation for making messes, but it's largely undeserved. In fact, you can easily get them to help clean the filthiest room in the house with just a few simple words! All you need to do is ask them nicely not to splash in the bathtub, and within minutes they'll happily douse your entire floor in warm, sudsy water. Then just mop it up, and voila — the kids have cleaned the bathroom!

7. Excuse Generator

Too tired to go out? Don't feel like attending yet another Tupperware party? Can't muster the nerve to tell your coworkers you're sick of seeing their faces, so no, you would not like to get drinks after work? Good news! Your kid serves as an endless source of imaginary illnesses, school functions and birthdays that can get you out of almost any unwanted social invitation.

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There are a lot of great reasons to have kids, and a lot of fantastic ways to enjoy their company, but hopefully now you've found a few new hacks to get even more out of parenthood.

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