When GOP staffer Elizabeth Lauten posted
critical comments about the President’s daughters on Facebook, she had no
idea there would be such a public backlash. After urging the President’s
daughters to "show a little class,” she proved to be incapable of doing the
What kind of an adult would even think to criticize children
so harshly? The answer is simple; a falsely self-righteous adult who needs to
feel better about herself by criticizing others. Highly critical adults judge others because
they find many faults within themselves and they don’t want to feel like the
only flawed person on earth, so they aim to define the flaws of others.
Lauten’s comments were uncalled for and extremely disrespectful, and we should all learn a lesson from her public spectacle. Here are a few other comments you should never
make about children because they really prove your own deficiency in self love.
1. “She needs to have her hair done.”
Most children have no concept of trying to impress others
and keep up with the trends to fit in to society. We impose our demands that they
conform to these rituals of beauty because we are forced to conform—and that’s
really unfair to them. Allow them to be children, wild-haired and free, for as
long as they can.
2. “She’s going to end
up in prison just like her mother.”
Predicting a child’s future, especially a negative
prediction, is never OK, especially if you allow that child to hear you mention
it. Children often follow the predictions of the adults who care for them. They don’t know how to define themselves
for themselves yet, so it’s never a good idea to give them a label they don’t
know how to get rid of.
3. “She dresses like a tramp.”
Who didn’t experiment with styles of clothing during their
formative years? Who didn’t push the envelope a little bit whether to prove
their individuality or to attract attention? It could also be that the child
has no concept that she is a sexual object and she is dressing for comfort. You
are actually sexualizing the innocent child by projecting your own sexual
thoughts onto her.
4. “She has no home training.”
We damage the child by leading them to believe something is wrong with them.
When you are out in public and witness a child doing
anything other than walking stiffly beside her parents, mute and emotionless, it
is very easy to describe the child as ill-mannered and emotionally disturbed.
The truth is, kids are kids and they love to explore, push boundaries and have fun.
When adults expect them to be little robots and label anything other than
zombie-like behavior as inappropriate, we damage the child by leading them to
believe something is wrong with them.
5. “I feel sorry about her disability.”
Parents of children with developmental disabilities can
attest that there is no reason for you to feel sorry for their child. Although
some children may have a different experience interacting in this world, your
so-called compassion for their situation actually creates the issue in the
first place. Children with disabilities being raised by loving parents don’t
need your pity or your attention. The only thing they need is to be respected
the same as any other child.
6. “She needs to lose weight.”
Just like with any other adult, a child’s weight issue isn’t
really your business. Unless the child is complaining to you directly about
their physical limitations due to their weight, they could be perfectly healthy
and going through a stage of understanding how their eating habits impact their
bodies. Again, enforcing your standards for body image onto a child that has no
negative concept of their own body image is damaging to their mental image of
Why is the baby ugly? Is it because it is a mass of
wrinkles, soft skin and body parts that may be too big for their tiny frames?
What does calling a baby ugly do for you anyway? Does it make you feel
superior? Are you that dismissive of the value of human life where you would
relegate it to a snide remark about appearance at the very beginning of its
journey? That baby is not ugly, it is a piece of unworked clay and you should
learn to look at it for its potential beauty, both inside and out.