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7 Things to Never Ask Your Nanny

Bwahaha (insert evil laugh sound here). That’s the sound of your nanny laughing because she hears it all and sees it all. She knows more about you and your family than your closest friends. If you’re lucky, she keeps your household sane, organized and on track. As much as she loves your kid(s), keep in mind that at the end of the day her role in your family is that of an employee. With that being said, here are 7 things that you should never ask your nanny:

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Question 1: “Is my baby the cutest/smartest baby you’ve ever worked with?”

Answer: She’s going to say yes. Your baby could look like a dingo in a pink dress and she’ll say she’s beautiful. You pay her. Her answer will always be yes.

Question 2: “You’re only feeding Timmy organic, gluten-free, non-GMO foods all day, right?”

Answer: Yes, she’s feeding him those foods all day … in addition to whatever else she can put in his mouth to keep him happy at the park.

Question 3: “Why is the TV remote in a different place?”

Answer: Because she turned on the TV. She’s human. It’s OK.

Question 4: “Do you think my husband is hot?”

Answer: No. She doesn’t think your husband is hot. Unless your husband is Bradley Cooper, there is a very small percentage of women that think your husband is hot … maybe .002 percent ... and that percentage likely doesn’t include your nanny.

Question 5: “Will you accept my friend request?"

Answer: It's not a good idea to “friend” your nanny. She doesn’t want to be your “friend” and you probably don’t want to know what she’s doing when she’s not with your kids. Odds are she’s not doing lines of cocaine, but nothing good can come of this arrangement.

Question 6: “Should I have more kids?”

Answer: Her answer will always be “yes.” Not because she thinks you and your husband have the perfect combination of genes, but because more children is built in job security.

Question 7: “OMG, did you see that?!?! (Timmy’s first smile, rolling over, walking, etc)”

Answer: Yes, she saw it. She saw it two days ago when he did it for the actual first time. But if she’s smart she’ll shut her mouth and act like it really was the first time Timmy rolled over.

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Nannies are amazing. They are an extension of us and the true definition of “it takes a village.” But when it comes to asking questions, a good rule of thumb is: Don’t ask questions that you really don’t want the answers to.

Image via Flickr

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