'Cool Moms' Video Reveals How Treacherous Mommy Cliques Can Be
byEricka SouterJan 12, 2015
Will I make
friends? What should I wear? Who should
I talk to first? What will I talk about? That's not the internal dialogue of a
panicked teen on the first day of high school. These days, many moms find
themselves struggling with fears of fitting in. For me, it hit me the first
time I rolled my stroller onto the playground. As I sidled my way through those
big iron gates and scanned the scene, I noticed groups of moms scattered
around. It was like walking into the high school cafeteria and not knowing
where to sit all over again. It's an issue millions of moms deal with every
single day. That's the reason the Laughing Moms parody "Cool Moms"
strikes such a major chord with us. Take a look.
In this video, a
clever take on Echosmith's 2014 hit song "Cool Kids," mothers are
caught comparing themselves to peers who seem to have it all together. We've
all marveled at these moms: They have perfectly tidy homes, throw the best
birthday parties, you won't find a single Cheerio on the car floor, their hair
is perfectly coiffed, and they always look like they just stepped out of a J
Crew catalog. That's far from reality for most of us. It's a ridiculous
standard to try to live up to it and we know it. Still, we can't help feeling a
little self-conscious in their presence. Even if we don't want to be just like
them, we want to be liked by them. You see, whether we are 14 or 40, the need
to be accepted persists.
In our 30s and
beyond, it isn't just about some superficial desire to be in the cool clique.
It's actually much deeper than that. Making mom friends is important on many
levels. You want your kid to have play dates and interact with other kids.
However, just as important is our need to socialize and form bonds. Whether we
admit it or not, we need to connect with other women who understand exactly
what we are going through.
Motherhood can feel isolating when you don't have people you can talk openly and honestly about what you are going through.
I was fortunate to find a group of mothers in my high-rise apartment building
to lean on. With kids the same age, we would meet up several nights a week to
let them run out a little energy before bedtime. It was also a time for us to
talk, laugh, complain and have a glass of wine. It was sanity saving.
Motherhood can feel isolating when you don't have people you can talk openly
and honestly about what you are going through. But if you think making moms
friends is easier as the kids get older, think again. Cracking into the
playground posse meant nothing once my son began elementary school. I had to
start all over.
I was probably as
nervous as my son walking down the halls that first day. We would be here for
the next eight years, so forming relationships was crucial as far as I was
concerned. Older—and perhaps a bit wiser—I knew it wasn't the so-called
"cool moms" I sought to connect with. I wanted to get to know women
who had a sense of humor, were laid back and, like me, were still trying to
figure this whole parenting thing out. Happy to report, I found them. That's not
to say I don't still occasionally stress about fitting in—that's human
nature. However, the end of this video offers a challenge we should all
consider: "Let's stop comparing ourselves to those around us and
appreciate how amazing it is to be a mom. You are the world to your children
and we can't think of anything cooler than that."