the birth of my older daughter, I placed a classified in the local newspaper
looking for a nanny. My requirements were pretty straightforward: Must adore
children, speak fluent English and have a valid U.S. driver’s license. In
return, I offered the opportunity to spend time with my darling baby girl, a competitive
hourly rate, reasonably flexible hours and free food. We found a woman so
wonderful that even when we eventually offered her a raise after she’d been with us
for a while, she declined (we gave it to her anyway).
unquestionably high maintenance in most areas, but when it comes to someone
caring for my children, they only really need to be committed and caring.
However, not all moms seeking nannies are created equal. A company called Abigail
to be confused with Ashley Madison) specializes in providing
“the highest quality home staffing services including nannies, housekeepers,
chefs, newborn specialists, tutors and personal assistants for all types of
households with differing needs.”
Madison once had a family living on Manhattan’s tony Park Avenue request a
nanny who was also a “professionally trained chef and work 75 hours per week
over six days,” according to ABC News. Other requests have
included a nanny/professional beautician who could create “fancy hairstyles for
the mom and 9-year-old girl every morning” as well as “shave the dad’s beard.”
I suppose if money were no object, I might want more in a nanny than someone who knows exactly how to cure my kids’ imaginary boo-boos.
families asked Abigail Madison to find nannies who needed to be prepared to
accompany kids to Broadway auditions, set a formal table, speak fluent Tagalog
or work a 50-hour week homeschooling six children for $9 an hour.
few years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin advertised for a tutor for their two young
children. Candidates needed to commit to two to four hours each day to teach
the kids Ancient Greek, Latin, French and Spanish and help them master two
musical instruments. The pay was $98,000 a year, plus a free apartment in West
London in addition to free travel around the world with the family. For someone
who is generally reviled, Paltrow easily comes out of
at least this situation smelling like
(gluten-free, organic) roses.
suppose if money were no object, I might want more in a nanny than someone who
knows exactly how to cure my kids’ imaginary boo-boos. Here are 10 ways I might
be able to employ someone in my home, ostensibly to care for my daughters:
1. Wake them up for school.
(Combat pay included.)
2. Keep them away from me until
I’ve exercised, showered and had two cups of coffee.
3. Brush their hair. (Combat pay
4. Find their most precious
lovies that they forgot they had and never knew they needed until exactly 30 seconds before walking out the door to catch the bus.
5. Clean up after the nuclear bomb tea party they detonated created at breakfast.
6. Play the part of the punching
bag as they play the part of the Holy Trinity (cranky, tired, hungry) when
arriving home after school.
7. Wrestle them into a seated
position long enough to let them whine about not wanting to do homework.
(Combat pay included.)