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Low-Cut Tee, Rules Guide: Bring It, Super Bowl

I’ve always been a girly-girl and so when I found out that one of my twins was a girl, I breathed a sigh of relief. Playing dress up, manicures and dancing school — those things are all in my wheelhouse. Playing sports, digging in the dirt, finding and eating insects — or whatever it is that little boys like doing — not so much.

Now that the twins are 3, my son and I are closer than I ever could have imagined. He has many interests that I share — dancing, making snakes out of Play-Doh, drinking juice. Unfortunately, he loves sports and I don't. So when Daddy’s team, the New England Patriots, advanced to the Super Bowl, I decided that after 17 years of staring blankly at the TV screen during sporting events, it was time for me to get on board with American’s biggest obsession.

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In the past, I was always suspect of women who claimed to like football. Wow, the ball is over here! Oh no, now it’s over there! I figured either these chicks were trying to find an “in” toward getting a boyfriend, or they were really, really interested in balls and where these balls may or may not be at any given time.

In truth, I never bothered to learn the rules of football before. If I was present for a game, I’d focus on more womanly chores, like serving signature cocktails or fluffing the couch pillows. Sometimes, I would inadvertently walk in front of the TV at a crucial moment and people would yell at me to “MOVE!” Everytime the men in my living room would suddenly cheer or yell, “FUCK!” at the TV screen, it would catch me off guard, and I’d jump out of my skin.

This year would be different. My son was busy telling all the kids at his preschool that his team was going to the Super Bowl. I had to get with the program. The first thing I did in my quest to become a football wife was to Google “girls guide to football.” After giving a cursory glance at the rules, I took the next most crucial step to becoming a fan.

I bought a T-shirt.

I knew that I wanted a “girly” T-shirt, nothing big and boxy, but rather, something that said, “I like sporting events and I’m also kind of a slut.” A quick search yielded a plethora of tight, cleavage-baring apparel, but also something better than anything I could have ever imagined.

“Touch by Alyssa Milano” is sports gear “to suit a woman’s smaller frame or her different taste.” With T-shirts for all different teams in the NFL, Alyssa’s mission is to help women look stylish (read: slutty) while cheering on their favorite team (i.e.: their boyfriend’s favorite team). Needless to say, I was sold.

Image by Ronnie Koenig

With a Sixpoint Sweet Action beer in hand, I watched both championship playoff games with my husband, and I had to admit it was pretty exciting. It was also pretty cool to be involved with something my kids will most likely get more and more interested in every year instead of just sitting on the proverbial sidelines.

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So now, armed with my fitted tee, a recipe for champagne punch and a very rudimentary understanding of the game, I am all set for my first Super Bowl as a bona-fide sports fan.

Touchdown, Alyssa! (I mean, Go Pats!)

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Image via Touch

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