My mom used to warn me, “Wait until your girls start getting critical of you...” Yeah right, that will never happen. Boy was I wrong. It’s happening. Now. Already! My girls are 4 and almost 3 and I’m constantly finding myself saying, “Don’t talk to your mom like that.” I thought I had a few more years ahead of me before this point. How naïve. (Although I do have a surefire tactic that deals with more serious sound-offs effectively).
Young kids have a real knack for telling the truth, and mine seem to think it’s perfectly wonderful to nit-pick and point out every single truth about me. (Maybe I should feel flattered that they feel so close and comfortable with me? I’m not sure).
Here are a few of my most favorite, recent rude truths from the mouths of my babes:
1. “Your mouth is stinky!”
This is usually shouted and laughed at simultaneously by all parties involved. My preschooler wakes up, shuffles down the hall, stumbles into my room to the edge of my bed to say, “Good morning Mommy.” I try to pry my eyes open to see her, say, “Good morning angel” and she promptly calls me out. Yes, my mouth is stinky. Yes, you are right. So I get up and brush my teeth.
Fine. I know I look better with lipstick. ... But must we make a point of saying it if we’re just hanging around the house?
2.“Your legs hurt!”
This callout happens when I fail to shave my legs less than four times per week and forget to wear full-length leggings during story time (when they sit on my lap). Fine, my legs are prickly. It can’t hurt that much. Nine times out of 10 I end up shaving my legs that night.
3. “Why is your hair silly like that?”
Leave it to a toddler to tell you that you’ve had better hair days. Thanks a lot, kid. Yes, you’re right. But this is what we’re dealing with today.
4. “Can you go put on your lipstick?”
Fine. I know I look better with lipstick. You know I look better with lipstick. But must we make a point of saying it if we’re just hanging around the house? (The weirdest part of this one is that she’s on to something. Putting on lipstick actually motivates me to get things done. I once cleaned and organized my pantry thanks to putting on lipstick. Truth).
5. “You’re better than that!”
I am? I guess I am. This was sternly told to me after I hastily grabbed a book out of my little one’s hand because she refused to leave it in the car like I asked. “That was rude Mommy! You’re better than that!” I was speechless. To my shock, I actually apologized. And then added, "Don't talk to your mom like that."