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My fourth grader has his first big
crush. It involves a lot of recess time, imagined phone conversations and angst on how
to show his feelings.
To be honest, I’m a little shocked this is happening so
soon. I thought with boys I’d could wait for the hormones to really kick in
before they began shedding tears over the opposite sex. But the time is here and, so, there are a few things I want
him to know:
They might think more, think differently and express themselves in, perhaps, perplexing ways. But girls are just like
boys, except way more tapped into their own feelings. Respect and be kind to every
girl you meet, be a good friend first and ...
2. Please wash your hair
I know you want to wear your
pajamas to school most mornings and that soaking in a bath or shower is a chore that takes you away from playing with Legos or Clash of Clans. But please, please
wash your hair (and your body). The way you present yourself is your calling
card—whether you are 9 or 90. And dirty boy hair smells like vomit. I know of
no girl (or human) that wants to sit next to that in art class.
3. Be yourself
Never pretend to be anything or anyone you
are not. No good friendship can ever come from misrepresenting yourself, not
matter how much you think it will help to win their affection. You are you for a
reason. There is a perfect match for everyone (perhaps several, but
that’s a conversation for when you are older), and the fun of it is finding that
person who gets your unique brand of humor and loves your freckles, fart jokes
and robot dances.
Know that you can be alone and be happy. There are going to more downs than ups in love, but embrace it all.
4. Stay loyal to your boys
Relationships are all about
balance. When you have on blinders for one person, one thing, one love, you
will inevitably lose the friendship of others. You have to continue to work at all of your friendships. You will always need Your Boys, and she will
always need Her Girls. If she says otherwise, run the other direction. That’s
called being a stalker.
5. Be patient
There is more time than you will know to
“find your girl.” For now, I will be your date on Saturday nights at the movies
and bumper bowling. I’m not afraid to share you. I know there will be day when I’m no longer your favorite girl,
and I’m OK with that. But for at least the first 20 years of your life, I’d
like to be pretty darn close to the top of those faves.
I dread the day you have your
heart broken. It's such a big heart, and the crack will be vast. Know that you can be alone and be happy. There are going to more downs than ups in love, but embrace it all. That's how men are made.