In a world full of LOLs, FMLs and emoticons, it’s easy to convey
a mood or have full conversations using only a handful of letters and the
kissy-face emoji (OK, and also the fist bump). Yes, acronyms are the 21st-century shorthand. And kids have
adopted this language whole-heartedly. But perhaps we, as moms, would embrace
the shortcuts more fully if they better conveyed our moods and thoughts. Here is a
list of mom acronyms that I think really need to catch on.
TTYWIGAPMTM: Talk to
You When I Get a Precious Minute to Myself
Let’s be clear, this may mean I talk to you tomorrow at
midnight or three months from now.
GGWAB: Gotta Go Wipe
Quick and precise ending the convo in an honest way. Can also pair with the poo emoji.
Showered In Days
So you don’t have to wonder.
LMBWO: Laughing My Baby
This means something is REALLY FUNNY, like your baby weight
coming off easily. That’s funny.
BK: Before Kids
Used to mark an epoch of sanity and freedom and sleep.
WMSA: Where My Spanx
To be used when you’re feeling like, YEAH GURL, it’s time to
get wild. I’m ready to party. At Target.
OOW: Out of Wine
This is an SOS. A cry for help.
MEAB: My Ears Are
To communicate to someone that texting is best since the
kids have punctured your eardrums with their Tasmanian Devil shrieks and their
AWFUL renditions of “Let It Go.”
CYCTSIIL: Can You
Check to See If I’m Leaking
Don’t want to have write that one out. The emphasis here is
FS: Frozen Status
As in “Frozen,” the movie. To indicate that something has
driven you to the edge, to the point of insanity, even tears.
SMMTDY: Sorry My
Muffin Top Dialed You
No need to call me back.
SHTCMHAB: Sorry Have to Cancel, My Hemorrhoids Are Back
This text is usually answered with another acronym, OMG! Or
no response. Awkward.
Sitting Next to Me
So I can’t bitch about him anymore. Also, don’t send me any
Ryan Gosling memes for a minute.
WWKRD: What Would
Kelly Ripa Do?
Half joking, half but really, what would Kelly Ripa do? She
has her mom shit together.
IBPTHD: In Bathroom
Pretending to Have Diarrhea
This indicates that mama can’t talk right now because she’s
pretending to have explosive bowel movements so she can enjoy a few minutes of
alone time. This also means an audible grunt
every so often just to be really convincing.
HACMD: Hard as a
Clogged Milk Duct
As in going HACMD on someone. This is being so much harder than HAAMF (Hard as a Mofo).