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In case you
haven't noticed, your teen is an expert when it comes to figuring out ways to
make life easier for themselves. While my first instinct is to get mad when I
find out they're pretending not to know how to change the toilet paper roll,
I've come to look at these acts as pure genius and have decided to try and use
these to make my life easier, too.
I spend a
ridiculous amount of time digging around in my purse for my lip balm, but I'm
about to take a lesson from my teen girls and start stockpiling it like it's
Armageddon and all of the lip balm factories have been reduced to a sticky,
strawberry-scented rubble. With six pots of Carmex and nine eos balls in
every bag, my lips will never be chapped again.
2. Don't wear matching
My daughter hasn't worn a matching pair since second grade.
digging in my purse for Chapstick, looking for matching socks is the next
biggest time-suck in my life. My teen's solution: Unmatched socks are a "thing" so just go with it already. My daughter hasn't worn a matching pair since
second grade. I'm hoping unmatched shoes become a trend, too, so I can stop
throwing out my back looking under the bed for my missing sandal.
3. Always multitask your
and then trying to binge watch "House of Cards" makes for a very late night.
But my teens have mastered the art of the TV multitask, which means they're
able to fit in a burger, AP biology test prep and an entire season of "Orange
Is The New Black" in one sitting. I'm learning fast—in fact, I'm writing this
post, bedazzling a fanny pack and watching the last season of "Gilmore Girls" all at the same time!
4. Use the tear-face
emoji at the end of every apology text
I can never
stay mad when I see :'( after "Forgot my
lunch" or "Sorry I'm late" or "There was no change leftover from the $20." It's
as if that colon, apostrophe and parentheses just reach right out and grab a
hold of my cold, hard heart. Which is why I'm going to try adding :'( to the
end of all of my late credit card payments from now on.
5. If you only have time
to put on half your makeup, pair it with a hairstyle where your bangs cover
half your face
swears she does this all the time and no one's the wiser. Unbelievably clever,
even though she admits it gets tiresome seeing out of one eye all day long. I
take at least half the credit for this one, since I think she was inspired by
me getting only dressed from the waist up when I know everyone will only be
seeing me through the car window.
6. Turn off "Send Read
Receipts" on your phone
My girls say
that no one really needs to know that you've read their text. Because nothing
could be more awkward than a boy knowing that you've read his text message, but
are ignoring his requests to hang out and play Mario Kart. Or your mom knowing
that you've read her text message, but are ignoring her requests to come home
early and clean your room. Or a client knowing that you've read their text
message, but are ignoring their requests to edit down that piece by 200 words.
7. Block your parents
from most of your Facebook posts
want to worry me and I'm not sure I want to see everything my kids are doing and be
privy to every thought going through their confounding and rapidly expanding
minds anyway. I totally get it, in the same way I don't want my 94-year-old mom
seeing that photo of me going out to the supermarket without a sweater.
I guess we
can all take a page from a teen's playbook and make our lives easier by just
stop overthinking things and worrying about following rules too closely. With
that in mind, I'm going to go out with my mismatched socks, a purse bursting
with 50 kinds of lip balm and without a single sweater on. Sorry this last
one wasn't a real life hack :'(