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18 Thoughts Moms Have When the Kids Are Away at Playdates

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When your toddler turns into a preschooler and you start experimenting with playdates (otherwise known as a fantasy that moms of babies have of passing their children off to someone else they don't have to pay), it can go one of two ways:

1. You're the playdate host, which means it's your job to wipe the other kid's boogers and give in to peanut butter and fluff sandwiches to make them stop crying.

2. Your kid goes to her friend's house, which means you're leaving your precious child in the care of another.

RELATED: The One Thing I Did That Eased My Daughter's Anxiety

When it's the other mom's turn to host, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and then you shut the front door with your kid inside her friend's house while you walk slowly back to your car, wondering:

1. Will she be OK without me?

Or will me leaving her in someone's home give her a lifelong fear of abandonment? Maybe this whole playdate thing is a bad idea.

2. Will she miss me too much?

Alright, well, maybe she was all good when I walked out the door, but what happens when she realizes I'm not coming right back? Will she survive? Will I?

3. Will she choke?

Wet her pants? Lose a tooth? What if the kids play outside and she gets hit by a car because no one's watching her closely enough? Will she be down and out in the street with a broken leg wondering where I am? How much is this going to cost me in psychotherapy?

4. What will I do with all this free time?

Aside from twiddling my thumbs, that is.

I could get used to this.

5. Is it possible I could squeeze in a trip to the supermarket before I have to go back and pick her up?

If I skip the deli department and just go for the basics, I might be able to make it back to her in time. Oh, wait. She's not with me; this errand won't take me the better part of a week to complete.

6. Could it be that I also have enough time to get a cup of coffee?

A latte, even? And in an actual mug, not a to-go paper cup?

7. And a breakfast sandwich?

On a plate. While I'm sitting down. Reading a newspaper. Today's paper.

8. If I go for a walk and take my cell phone, I'll get good enough reception to receive a text from the kid's mom if my daughter isn't OK, right?

True, I will be far away from my car, but if I haven't heard from her by now, chances are decent that if they do text me, I'll be closer to home by then. Right? Right?

9. So this is what the couch feels like when you have it all to yourself.

Hello, lover.

10. Hello, uninterrupted silence.

11. I have no idea what my kids complained so much about; naps are all they're cracked up to be.

I could get used to this.

12. Hey, how about that: If I eat ice cream in the middle of the day, I don't have to share it.

Nor do I have to have a small portion. And, yes, Mommy gets sprinkles, too.

13. I can eat it right out of the carton. (Fact: Moms' spoons don't carry germs.)

Because I said so.

14. And I don't have to have a vegetable.

Unless my mom is reading this. In which case, of course I had a vegetable.

15. Oh, hey, look. There's a "Sex and the City" marathon on E!

Why would anyone ever choose Big over Aidan? And what's wrong with Miranda that she doesn't want to co-parent her kid with Steve?

16. Shit. I have a kid, too.

Is is that time already?

RELATED: Why Are Playdates So Hard?

17. I barely got anything done

I have to go pick her up, right? Like, it wouldn't be cool if I didn't, even though she's probably having so much fun she doesn't even want to come home and it probably makes it easier on her friend's mom when she's there because they have each other to play with, right?

18. Sigh. I know, I know.

Leaving now. Verrrrrrry slowwwwwwwwwwwwly.

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