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12 Things Every Parent Does But Won't Tell Their Kids

We're not so different, you and I. Maybe we don't make money the same way or send our kids to the same type of school. Maybe we don't see eye-to-eye on attachment parenting or vaccines or the message behind "The Giving Tree."

But I'll tell you this much: We all do or have done or will do one of these 12 things. And we'll all deny it to our kids.

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And if you say that you don't? Well then you're lying.

1. Shoving a cookie/brownie/cake into our mouths behind the refrigerator door.

"What?" we'll say with a full mouth. "I'm just eating some broccoli, Mmmmm!"

2. Conveniently losing an annoying toy.

"Wow, I have no idea where that light-up Power Ranger sword went. Weird!"

3. Sneaking some cash from the piggy bank.

(Because the pizza delivery guy is almost here, and you're short $2 ... in quarters. You'll replace it; you swear.)

4. Hiding out in the bathroom for some quiet.

"Just a minute, mommy is on the potty!" we say while sitting on the counter, scrolling through Instagram.

5. Telling kids that the toy store/ice cream shop is closed when it's not.

Or when our kids are really little: "It's sleeeeeeping right now!"

6. Halloween candy. Easter baskets. It's all ours.

This has been true for all of human history, we realize, elbow deep in a plastic Jack-O-Lantern.

7. Telling kids an activity was cancelled because we're too exhausted to go.

They'll understand one day, we justify.

8. Curse, and then deny ever doing it.

"N-no, mommy said 'SHOO! SHOO FLY! GET OUTTA HERE!'"

9. Using a fictional character to back us up.

"Well I talked to Santa earlier and he said..."

10. Lie about our kids' ages to get free or reduced admission.

"He's 3 years old," we quickly whisper when our newly 4-year-old kid isn't paying attention.

11. "Skip" a page or four in the bedtime book to speed things along.

"And theeeen ... the owl's mommy came back! The end!"

12. Feel bored to tears while playing with our kids sometimes.

"Just 10 minutes," you think to yourself, tiny plastic figurines in hand. "You can do anything for 10 minutes."

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But if our kids ever ask, we'll deny it all. Just as our parents did, and our kids will do to theirs.

Photo credit: Nikki Addimando

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