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A good girlfriend of mine is contemplating having a second
child and asked me if I think she should. "Absolutely," I answer without giving
it a second thought. "If for no other reason than to know what it's
like not to worry so much." With
each kid, we moms worry less and less. Or, we just have less time to notice!
No matter what, every mom worries. If you weren't an anxious
person before you had kids, being solely responsible for birthing, feeding,
educating and nurturing a future adult will send you into an anxiety tailspin
of epic proportion. Because the
truth is, there's no such thing as a mom who doesn't worry. No matter how many
kids you have and no matter how relaxed you seem on the inside, on the inside
every mom is chalk full of worries.
I'm a teeth-grinding, worries wake me up in the night, type of worrying mom. I'm like a superhero. By day, I seem calm and collected. By night, I'm up at 3 a.m. sweeping my
floors because something was on my mind regarding my kids and I couldn't sleep. Though we moms are bonded by our
shared anxieties, we are also different in their execution. I'm a:
Like me, the stealth worrier seems cool and calm when talking about her kids.
In fact, she may never talk about her kids because she seems to have it all
covered. But inside, she's just another mom stressing about her kids. Look for emails at 4 a.m. from your
stealth worrier friend. Her
anxiety woke her up so she figured she'd use the time to get some work done.
Which kind of anxious mom are you?
She's not actually talking to you about her kid, she's talking to herself.
Every mom has the
mom friend who talks about her kids all the time. The nervous chatterer is
different. She talks about her worries all the time. In fact if you were to
walk away, the nervous chatterer would still be talking and talking and talking
about her kid. That's because
she's not actually talking to you about her kid, she's talking to herself. She let's the anxiety get the best of
her and works it out by talking about it to anyone who will listen, or not!
The Nail Biter
She's got no nails left because she's
chewed through them while worrying about her kids. She never gives herself a
break from the anxiety related to kids, even when things are going just fine at
This Mom knows everything about anything. So when your kid gets a random rash , the Googler will know more than your pediatrician. There isn't a kid-related fact she doesn't know. That's because she spends endless hours Googling and researching everything. Now let's just hope the information is true!
The Hovering Mom
Every mom jokes that she's going to
college or summer camp with her kids. This mom will really do it. Her kids could use a little breathing
room, but she's terrified of not being there for them every step of the way.
The Mom Who Needs to
Cut the Cord
If she can't get parenting right, she didn't get anything right.
She's hard on
herself and she sees her kid's success as an extension of her own. Deep down inside she worries that if
she can't get parenting right, she didn't get anything right. She could use distance between her and
her kids, but she wants to get parenting right. Who can blame her?
The Trend Follower
Each time this mom hears about what
another mom's child is doing in school or in sports, it sends her into a worry
tailspin and makes her question her own choices for her kids. That's why her kids are on every team
and over-scheduled with extracurriculars. Mom wants to avoid missing anything.
The Terrified Worrier
The problem with being a mom is we know what disastrous, horrible thing could
happen at any given time. But to
the terrified worrying mom, she can't put those worries aside. That's why she
walks her kids in to school despite there being a carpool lane, her kids won't
go on a sleepover until they're married and she attends all school field trips
just to make sure.
This mom is often referred to as the cool
mom. She also has enough kids or work to keep her too busy to live in her
worries. But don't think she doesn't worry—she just realistic. She knows she
can't protect her kids from everything in the world no matter how much she
wishes she could.
This mom worries if
she's not worrying. To her, it's a sport and she will not finish the Worry
Olympics in last place.
This is the mom who doesn't worry about
her kids at all. If you meet her, tell your friends because she's a unicorn. She
probably isn't really real at all!
So even though moms who aren't anxious about their kids at
all are unicorns, moms who do worry about their kids are totally normal. In
fact, be proud of your kid-related worries. It's just a sign of how much you
love and care about your kids. Lord knows you have no fingernails left to prove it!