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What Those Summertime Facebook Statuses Really Mean

Photograph by Twenty20

Oh, the Facebook statuses of summertime! Moms are really, really trying to portray their best summer ever this year—and why not? We look forward to summer fun all year long. But I started wondering what hidden messages lurked behind these uber-fun-summer posts. Have you seen them?

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"So happy that Chloe loves her swimming lessons this year! She begged us to sign her up for a second and third session. #sheisafish #poolsidesummer"

What this mom is really saying: The only time I get a break is during swim lessons. I am SO signing her up for the whole summer so I can get through my summer reading list.

"Surprised the kids today and took them to the movies! Popcorn for everyone! Just can't get enough summer fun. #oldschoolsummer"

What she is really saying: The air conditioner at home is broken. If I have to play one more round of Chutes and Ladders in this sweat farm I might lose it.

"Family roadtrip! Off to the lake for a week with the whole family! Let the bonding begin! #cousins #grandparents #familytime"

What she is really saying: There had better be tequila.

"Ice cream cones for lunch? It must be summertime! #summerfun #icecream #kidsgrowtoofast"

What she is really saying: Mom got a little hangry between soccer camp and swimming lessons.

"Barely home from vacation long enough to unpack before we leave town again! Can't wait to spend the week with Bob's family down south. #vacation #lovesummer #familyrocks"

What she is really saying: I can't believe Bob told his mother we would stay for a whole freaking week. The woman will drive me insane.

"The college kid is so happy to be home! He's spending lots of time with the family, and we are so lucky. #terrificteen #familytimesummer #collegekidishome"

What she is really saying: The college kid hasn't woken up before noon yet—and every waking hour is spent devouring all things edible.

"So excited for soccer camp this week! Car is loaded with Abbie's BFFs, three gallons of Gatorade and enough sunscreen to last them a month. #summerfun #soccermom #carpoolrocks"

What she is really saying: Why am I always the only mom who is available to drive all these freaking kids to day camp?

"Mani/pedi time! Rob is such a great dad, taking the kids to swimming lessons, science camp and the library today so that I can have some alone time. #greatdad #metime #girltime #whereismywine"

What she is really saying: Damn right it's time for him to drag his ass all over town from this activity to that. Welcome to my world.

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"So proud of Travis for being the first participant to read 100 books in the library summer reading program! We know where he gets his love of books. #minime #booklover #librarygeek #gifted"

What she is really saying: Ha! I knew my kid would beat Little Miss Perfect down the street. Good thing he wanted that new tablet; it was the perfect incentive.

Enjoy your summer, moms—we've all been there and lived to tell about it.

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