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10 Things I'll Do On My Kid-Free Vacation

OMG, OMG, OMG! It's really going to happen. After almost four years of full-time twin time, the hubs and I are going to take a vacation without them. And not just a night away—I'm talking an actual get on a plane, put your toes in the sand, wear nothing but a bathing suit all day kind of trip.

Here's what I'll be doing:

1. Organizing my closet

The night before we fly, we'll actually be alone in our house, and I'm almost giddy at the prospect of being able to declutter and organize without our preschoolers underfoot.

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2. Reading a book

Like, one with no pictures in it. Yeah, I'm talking one that doesn't even have a page of bonus stickers in the back.

3. Sleeping late

Or waking up for a 6 a.m. yoga class. But probably sleeping late.

4. Not carrying around snacks

Please don't ask me for raisins or string cheese. I won't be carrying.

5. Day drinking!

Technically I already do this one, but still, fun.

6. Avoiding children

If you are under 16, please do not approach.

7. Not listening to "Cha-Cha Slide"

Unless I've had more than three piña coladas, in which case all bets are off.

8. Having daytime sex

I hear this is much sexier than half-asleep, lying on top of Legos with a Spiderman action figure watching you sex (although that is kind of kinky).

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9. Talking about topics not related to the kids

Shit, I'd better start looking at CNN. Wait, who is the President?

10. Not wiping anyone's ass

OK, maybe mine but that's it!

Image via Twenty20/anniejanssen

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