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11 Ways to Tell If You're Raising a Food Snob

Photograph by Twenty20

"Sushi," says my 8-year-old. "Can I have sushi for lunch today?"

I panic. Who does my kid think I am, the head chef at Nobu? Quite frankly, I'm in the midst of heating some chicken nuggets for his lunch. I'd planned on throwing in some ketchup, cutting up an apple and calling it a meal. But my kid seems to have other ideas.

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"Sorry buddy," I say. "But at least you get chicken nuggets!"

He starts to whimper. "Aww," he says through snot tears. "I wanted sooooo-sheeeee."

My 4-year-old-daughter chimes in, "Chicken nuggets! Gisdusting!"

I look at my two little monsters, realizing I have created them. See my kids aren't rude or picky eaters. They're not finicky at meals nor are they kids who will only eat burgers and fries. They're worse. They're food snobs and it's all my fault.

See, ever since my kids were eating solids, I was determined to give them an extended palette in relation to food. I wanted them to try food from different countries as opposed to just eating pasta and pizza. I gave them salad and sushi, steak and salmon. The problem is, they liked it. And now that's all they want to eat.

Sometimes unhealthy trumps Mom having to cook a Michelin star meal for her kid each and every time the kid's stomach growls.

If you have a pasta-only eater or a kid who gauges at the sight of anything green, you're probably scratching your head wondering what's the big deal. The big deal is that as our children get older we have school drop offs, lunches to pack and soccer bags to organize. We don't always have time to fillet bronzino so our kid can pretend like he's dining in the South of France when he eats lunch at school.

Sometimes we need our children to eat food that is quick, pre-prepared or store bought. It's not always as healthy, but sometimes unhealthy trumps Mom having to cook a Michelin star meal for her kid each and every time the kid's stomach growls. So if you're envious of my kid's taste for lobster paella because your kid will only eat pasta, don't be. My kids eat like they are reviewing the food for the New York Times. Your kids just eat.

And if you're wondering if your picky little eater is actually the world's smallest food snob, here's how you know.

1. When you take your kid to McDonald's, he asks to meet the chef.

2. If you take your kid to get a smoothie, she asks for proof that the fruit is fresh.

3. Your kid approaches Halloween candy like a catch-and-release day of fishing. He goes trick-or-treating just for "the experience," but hands all the candy back to its owner after looking at the label to realize the candy's not imported.

4. For her birthday party, your daughter asks for the theme to be, "Farm to Table."

5. At a recent birthday party, your kid returned her pizza to the host and asked for trout instead.

6. It's snack time. Your kid asks for foie gras.

7. Your daughter wants to name the new family dog, "Kale."

8. Your kid asks for the tasting menu at Chuck E. Cheese.

9. Every time you give your kid a juice box he sniffs it and says, "Seems like a good year."

10. At treat time, your kid asks for soufflé.

11. While the other kids at school say they want to grow up to be ballerinas and fire fighters, your kid says he wants to grow up to be a food critic.

RELATED: If The 'Peanuts' Kids Grew Up Which One Would You Be?

So if you've been stressing out because your kid will only eat food that comes from a box, stop worrying. Count your blessings and remember it could be worse. You could have a food snob on your hands instead. Or worse yet, two of them.

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