Maybe mid-September is too early to already be sick of the holidays, but if you're a seasoned parent, it's hard to not start feeling tense about a day-long holiday for which retailers have trained us (and our kids) to believe we need five months to prepare.
Of course it's useless to whine about how Christmas music is already playing in malls and department stores, and catalogues have been nudging us to start decking our halls since late July. Joining the chorus of those ringing their jingle bells is Toys 'R' Us, which recently released their list of 2015's hottest toys.
As if often the case, though, what's "hot" among kids is so "not" with their parents. Here's a parental breakdown of what to expect if you decide to go with one of these "hot" toys:
If those questions on a continuous loop don't cause you to lose your mind, the "energetic" music that emanates from this creature might just do the trick. If not, be prepared for your tots to use the record feature to ask you again and again and again what, exactly, the damn toy is called again.
So a toy that a parent has to operate and listen to from another room? And we need to pay money for that?
If this bear were really smart, it would just be quiet. And yet that's the antithesis of its entire existence. Parents are meant to use an app via their smart phones to "monitor their child's activity and progress while commanding the bear from a distance." So a toy that a parent has to operate and listen to from another room? And we need to pay money for that? Wouldn't it just be cheaper (and less annoying) to sit in the same room with our kids?
If you can't remember why you didn't buy your kids a real pet bird, let this toy be a reminder. (Hint: This toy talks, sings, dances and drives—which actually might make a real pet bird slightly less irritating.)
Estimated length of time your child will spend in time-out for scaring the daylights out of Aunt Evelyn by hiding in the closet in the guest bedroom and jumping out at her in the dark with this toy: 19 hours (which, by the way, Aunt Evelyn will argue is not long enough).