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18 Signs You're a Mom of a Boy

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We're all trying to raise more compassionate and caring young men in this era of gender-neutrality and acceptance. But admit it, whether your boy likes to have his toenails painted or lives in camo 24/7 there are just some traits these testosterone-laden little ones seem to share. Are you a boy mom? Let's see.

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1. Phrases like, "Don't lick the turtle!" "The couch isn't a rocket launch pad" and "Leave your penis alone" come out of your mouth on a daily basis.

2. Dirty laundry can be sorted into seven different categories according to how wet it is and which part of the yard or playground the stains came from.

3. You can identify dinosaurs not only by whether they were carnivorous or plant-eaters, but by which period they lived in.

4. Not only do you carry a package of bandages in your purse, you also carry Neosporin, medical tape, super glue, eye drops, children's Motrin and a wrist splint.

5. You stock your laundry room with Oxyclean in three different varieties and always have a bottle of Spray-and-Wash on hand just in case. And bleach. Lots of bleach.

6. You are a master of poop jokes.

7. You are a master of ball jokes.

8. All your nice things have been temporarily relocated to the basement.

9. Every surface in your home has been converted to a climbing apparatus with the simple addition of a chair and a mop handle.

10. You have a constant supply of bruises on your legs from your part-time job as a jungle gym.

11. You have gladly hosed your toddler son off outside rather than deal with the trail of crud that would follow him down the hall to the shower.

12. Mac and cheese has been served as breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and snack.

13. All of the small clothes in your house are various shades of blue, navy, gray and black. With holes for good measure.

14. You do laundry every day. Every damn day.

15. You have held a lizard, snake, various types of bugs, worms, spiders and roly-poly bugs without complaining.

16. You have found a lizard, snake, various types of bugs, worms, spiders and roly-poly bugs in your child's pocket. If you're lucky, you found them before you did the laundry.

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17. There is at least one LEGO minifigure in your purse at any given time—which is better than on the floor, where your bare foot is most likely to find one.

18. Your heart has exploded over a mud-covered little boy uttering the simple phrase, "Wuv you mama."

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