I'm standing in line at Starbucks when a woman, probably in her early 20s, in front of me bends down to pick up a dropped coin. As she bends down her
T-shirt moves up revealing a good portion of her lower back and a tattoo in the
shape of a bullseye with an arrow that points down.
I can't help but stare for a few seconds
before she gets up. In my head my thought bubble is screaming, "OMG! She is
somebody's daughter!" I have to assume that even the most liberal of parents
would be a horrified to have their daughter ink up her body with such an
overtly suggestive sexual tattoo.
It's all I can do not to say something to her. I feel like a total
fuddy-duddy, but I look at her and see my own daughter. My daughter is 4,
but at one point this woman was 4. Her parents probably never imagined she'd
have a nasty tattoo permanently placed on her body.
I think tattoos can be meaningful and beautiful works of
art, but I can't imagine what I'd do if my daughter got a ridiculous or nasty tattoo
on her body someday. Tattoos, after
all, are one of the few things in life that are permanent.
Here are some tattoos I'm hoping my
daughter never gets.
1. A Target or Bullseye Tattoo
Hopefully, I've taught her to have more pride in her body than that.
Even if she's grown up, I'll be horrified if
my daughter gets a tattoo making any part of her body a bullseye or
target. Hopefully, I've taught her to
have more pride in her body than that.
2. Justin Bieber or
Any Other Teen Idol
I get the power of a pop star. When
I was a kid I was obsessed with Andy Gibb because of all the chest hair shown on the "Flowing Rivers" record jacket. But I'm sure glad I didn't ink Andy anywhere on my body because a
year later I was over him. Chances are all the Beliebers will be, too.
3. A Tattoo That Reads "Property Of______________."
Unless that tattoo says
my girl is property of herself, I hope she doesn't get it.
4. Any Tattoo Depicting Her Favorite Sanskrit Phrase
I'm completely convinced that half
the people who have their favorite Sanskrit phrase inked on their bodies have
no idea what their tattoo actually says. If my daughter needs a translator to
read her own tattoo, she probably shouldn't get it.
5. Any Ink That Can Be Seen During a Job Interview
Hopefully whatever tattoo she gets will be PG. But regardless, I'd hate
for my daughter to have doors closed to her just because of a tattoo she got
while on spring break in Cancun.
6. Ink That Can Be Misconstrued for a Penis
I don't care if cucumber is her favorite food
in the world or if she invents the world's most delicious hot dog someday,
there should be nothing permanently placed on her body that can be misconstrued
for a tattoo of a penis. Nope!
There's nothing more powerful than young love,
but it's not particularly permanent. So I hope my daughter doesn't ink some
guy's name on her arm when chances are she won't know him in a year. Tattoos are permanent. Most boyfriends are