I used to wonder why it was so hard to buy something for my
mom for Christmas. Cards seemed too simple. But she was allergic to Lavender
lotion and would often tell us she didn't want anything. I now understand that
it wasn't because she didn't want anything, it was just because we couldn't give her what she really wanted, like "A Silent Night" or maybe just one week
where we didn't put her underwear on our heads and laugh.
This year, my 4-year-old asked me what I wanted for
Christmas. I told her that she and her brother were a gift enough for me, and
as cheesy as it sounds, I meant it. She frowned, "How about a new pursed
because yours is yucky?"
5. Some really beautiful boots. What? I'm a person, too!
6. For no one to lick those boots or me, ever
7. To be able to use my mom glare to reheat coffee
8. The ability to
freeze time like Zack Morris on "Saved By the Bell," except I wouldn't narrate,
I'd just take a damn nap
9. I'd like the "please
stop picking your nose in dance class or anywhere" pep talk to actually work
and not inspire my son to then immediately start picking his nose. That would
be the gift that would keep on giving.
10. To never have to watch "Frozen" ever again
11. Some face cream that makes it look like I actually get
to sleep. Barring that, I'd like some sleep.