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Don't Forget Who You Were Before You Became a Mom

Photograph by Twenty20

I spent my morning listening to George Michael after hearing his song "Freedom" in our local sub shop. It made think about the time I was at my friend's 14th birthday party and we were dancing in broad daylight on a June afternoon while the boys stood awkwardly on the other side on the lawn and picked at their fingers and punched each other in the shoulders.

Lately, I often find myself thinking about the person I was before I became a mom. The transformation from woman to mother is awesome, and I mean that in the literal sense.

I used to sit and look out the window. I used to take my time getting dressed. I used to journal and read. But, as moms, our time is held captive between cleaning and appointments and teaching our kids how to be good people.

We naturally fall behind on things we used to do because of time and space. We all know this. But that doesn't mean we should forget who were were before we became a mother.

So, don't forget about who you were before you became a mother. You need her. Your kids and partner want to know her.

We don't go out on a Friday night and crash into bed early on a Saturday morning after eating eggs and bacon at a diner.

We don't talk to our friends as much.

We don't put our needs first or do what we'd like most of the time. We intentionally made that sacrifice by becoming a parent.

A life change and growing up doesn't mean we shouldn't nurture the little girl within, the blossoming teenager who was fumbling her way through life experiences, the woman on her early 20s who had so much ahead of her, she didn't even know it.

Those people you were before you became a mother are the ones who have formed you into this amazing being who is learning and growing and teaching her kids, all while trying to morph into this new version of herself.

So, don't forget about who you were before you became a mother. You need her. Your kids and partner want to know her.

Even if you keep in touch with all the different versions of yourself by writing down two nostalgic sentences in your journal, or listening to your favorite '90s band, or watching a movie you used to love back in the day, when you wondered if you'd ever settle down and have kids of your own, or reaching out to an old high school friend—do it.

Do it for the woman you are now.

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