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Before Kids I...

I've been a mother for a solid decade. This means that I've been a mom for so long, that I sometimes forget what my life used to be like before kids. There are moments when I miss how simple my life used to be and all the little things I took for granted.

As much as I'd like to believe that motherhood didn't change me, it has. I think it changes most women. Maybe not in the most obvious ways, but in the little, day-to-day, things. The person I was before kids is a little different from the person I am now. And when I think about the woman I was before kids, I have to chuckle.

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Before kids, I didn't really like kids.
I just wasn't that woman who loved kids. I didn't ache to have them or hold them.

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I didn't feel the need to go to to the bathroom for "alone" time.
Before kids I could be alone anytime I wanted. "Me" time wasn't a luxury, and I certainly didn't need to sit in the bathroom to get a few moments of quiet.

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I could get up and go out in less than 20 minutes.
Before kids I could just run out quickly. I could run out to the gym, out to the store, out to grab the mail. I could throw on whatever and go — and still manage to look good. I didn't have to be responsible for anyone else.

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These days it's more like…

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Before kids, I don't think I wore sweatpants out in public.
And if I did, it was usually by choice... not the only option.

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I could buy cookies without having any pressure to share.
If I bought cookies, I knew that I'd be able to eat them. I knew that if left them on the counter, they'd be there when I wanted them. As a mom, I have to hide cookies. I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't always want to share.

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I slept.
Before kids, I took sleep for granted. I don't think I appreciated how glorious it was until after becoming a mom.

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Every night was a girls night.
I went out when I wanted. I didn't have to make plans months in advance.

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And when I went out, I stayed out for as late as I wanted.
There was no rushing to get home to sleep. I knew I had the whole next day to sleep.

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No milk, no problem!
I didn't care if there was any milk in the fridge. In fact, my fridge before kids was usually empty.

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Walking around barefoot wasn't dangerous.
I could walk barefoot freely in the middle of the night without having to worry about stepping on a Lego or any other tiny toy.

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Completely clueless on the cost of childcare.
I didn't worry about money because I didn't have to worry about the cost of childcare.

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I owned the TV.
I watched Disney movies on my own terms... not 10 times a day.

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I could be selfish without feeling any kind of guilt.
I didn't worry about anyone else other than myself, and it was amazing.

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I ate warm food.
I ate when I was hungry rather than after serving other people first, or making two different meals. And certainly not standing at the kitchen counter while shoveling food in my mouth.

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I cooked when I felt like cooking.
And let's be for real, sometimes "cooking" dinner was just a sandwich.

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I didn't know how gross motherhood could be. Ignorance was bliss.
I didn't think "poop in the tub" could happen. And I never thought I'd willingly cup someone else's vomit in my hands.

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Before kids, I didn't understand how deep a mother's love for her child can be.
Because if anyone messes with my kid, I'm gonna need somebody to hold my earrings.

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