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you finally feathered your empty nest just the way you like it, maybe turned
your son’s bedroom into an office or a craft studio. Then you get the call. “Mom,
I’m wondering if it’s possible, just until I get back on my feet …”
you have an adult child moving back home, you’re not alone. In fact, the number
of adult joint households jumped 11.4 percent from 2007 to 2010, according to a
recent U.S. Census Bureau report.
O’Neill, family therapist, says financial reasons are why most adult children move back
home. “When I work with such clients we brainstorm about myriad
topics that need to be considered for all to cope. Most of the themes have
something to do with keeping appropriate boundaries and respect for each
“The better the relationship the easier it will be to navigate the
process of return,” says Richard Horowitz, a parenting/family coach. “The key to making the transition
successful is what happens before the child returns home. It is
imperative that the parents and child sit down and negotiate a contract
outlining the three R’s of return: Roles, Resources and Responsibilities. … Careful planning and honest sharing of concerns will go a long way to making
the return of the adult child a relatively stress-free experience for both
parent and child.”
He suggests making a “living document” contract that can be altered
if members aren't living up to their end of the deal.