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What Separates the Good Moms From the Bad

I'm worried about being a good mom. All the time. Am I doing enough? Have I done enough? Is there something I'm not even thinking of that I should be doing?

I over-prepare. I plan for every worst-case-scenario. I always carry bandaids in my bag.

I read everything I can about what's going on in my kids' lives: are they sleeping enough? Are they sleeping too much? Are they getting outside enough? Will that leave a mark? Are they watching too much TV?

I want to be a good mother. I want my kids to grow up to be good people.

But you know who's not worried about any of this?

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Bad moms. Those mothers who think they've got it all in the bag. Those mothers who like to lecture other mothers, tell them what their kids are doing wrong, tell you what you're doing wrong. They don't think about how to do it right, because they're so sure of themselves.

They're the ones who should be thinking long and hard about parenthood.

So much of parenting is just about figuring out what your kids need and trying to be the best mom you can for them in that moment.

Now, not every mom who doesn't worry incessantly is a bad mom. And not every mom who worries all the time is a good mom. But if you're thinking about what goes on in your kids' lives, if you're thinking about how to make them good people, then you're trying your best.

And all you can ever do is your best.

No mom is the perfect mom. You may think so, looking at some people's Facebook feeds, the pics they post on Pinterest and Instagram, and the stories they tell you at school pickup. But the truth is: No one is their carefully curated online selves. No one is the stories they tell you.

It's okay if you're not perfect. No one is.

But as long as you're trying your best, you're probably doing a great job.

The best you can hope for is to be the best mom for your kid. To give your kids what each of them needs. Sometimes, my kids need tons of cuddles. Other times, my kids needs to be left alone to run around by themselves. Sometimes my kids want my help. Then again, maybe they don't. Sometimes my kids want my opinion. Also, they want to make their own mistakes.

So much of parenting is just about figuring out what your kids need and trying to be the best mom you can for them in that moment. Every kid is different—my two children both come from the same mother and father, live in the same house, yet are vastly different kids. They need different things at different times. They want different things at different times. Sometimes I have to be a different mother for each one of them.

It changes from day to day. It changes from hour to hour. That's parenthood. There's a fair amount of figuring it out as you go. But as long as you're trying your best, you're probably doing a great job.

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Take right now, for example: You're on a mom blog, and you're here because you're thinking about the issues related to parenthood. You're thinking through the things in your kids' lives, you're engaged, you're trying to become a better parent every day.

So, I'll say it, and listen up. You're a great mom. I promise.

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Photograph by: Twenty20

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