Our Privacy/Cookie Policy contains detailed information about the types of cookies & related technology on our site, and some ways to opt out. By using the site, you agree to the uses of cookies and other technology as outlined in our Policy, and to our Terms of Use.


My Nude Selfie vs. Kim Kardashians: Not Much Difference

Recently, Kim Kardashian posted a "nude" "selfie." And the Internet, like it does, exploded in outrage against her.

I don't personally live my life like Kim Kardashian. I don't think I could garner as much money for my nude body as she does. I have chosen other interests in my life. I am not married to a guy like Kanye.

But I also don't think she's at all deserving of the hate she gets.

RELATED: When You Hate the Playdate Dad's Politics

It seems to me that the same women I see on social media saying effusively, "Women need to SUPPORT WOMEN! ALL WOMEN! ALL KINDS OF WOMEN!" are the same women who bash Kim Kardashian like a piñata, probably saying she's as loose as a piñata and filled with as much candy.

This most recent selfie, and the reaction, went a step further. Among the negative comments about KK were arguments that she has two big reasons to put the camera and some clothes on. "SHE IS A MOTHER. A MOTHER SHOULD NOT POSE NAKED!" One post showed a photo of a fully clothed white, boring looking personality-less woman holding a child saying, "Mom material." Next to it was KK's latest nude photo with the caption: "Trash material."

I believe very clearly that posing nude has no bearing on whether or not Kim is a good mother. That's a fairly simple way of looking at things. And it's as old as the Bible. You're either a Madonna or a Whore.

From the beginning of time, women are either all good or all bad. All sexy or all matronly. God forbid (literally) a sexy and also nurturing mother exists. This idea seems to freak men (some men) out. Women are either for a one-night stand (trash material, as in the aforementioned post) or for making babies with.

And speaking of whores, Julia Roberts played one in a hugely successful movie and somehow remained "America's Sweetheart" for decades.

You can give me the whole, "But Kim Kardashian has NO talent! She doesn't DO anything!" But that's not true. What she does is sell her image (and cosmetics, clothing, make-up, hair extensions, the list goes on) for money. That's what she does. It's not what I would do but that's OK. (Actually, that's a lie. If I had her body and her business smarts, I probably would do that while pursuing other, "more worthy," intellectual interests while on my yacht.)


Kim Kardashian is not hurting people, she's not abusing animals, and she's not cutting down other women. You may spend hours in your craft room, gluing googly eyes to something and, who knows, perhaps THAT has more of a negative impact on your child than posing nude would?

I know I know, you want to say, "But I don't want my daughter SEEING that trash on the Internet! She is influencing girls to be sluts!"

The woman who believed that girls who catch a glimpse of a golden-skinned nude Kardashian are doomed to lead lives of degradation is missing a great opportunity to TALK.

It's not Kim Kardashian's job to raise your daughter or instill her with positive body image or self-esteem. That's your job. How about use it to open a conversation? Nope. Not gonna do that.

My belief is that even talking about Kim is too scary for some parents. I have a 9-year-old son. He has seen photos of Kim, he has seen half-naked billboards peppering the streets of Hollywood where we live. He's seen a lot. And so we TALK.

"So Roan. You know the Kardashians, right?"

"Yeah, they have that TV show," he says.

"Yeah, I just want to say, it's OK if a woman wants to be a scientist but also wants to wear a really tiny bikini. Or if a woman wants to wear a lot of clothes, it's her choice. And you're young, but I know you can't help but see some of these things, so I just wanted to talk about if you had any thoughts about it."

"Nuns wear a LOT of clothes," he says.

"Yes. Those are called habits," I say.

"Is this a conversation about bad habits?" he asks, laughing.

"No. I am just trying to say, when you become a man you may be drawn to seeing pictures of sexy women, and I am just saying that's OK, but it's also OK that those women may have other things about them that are more interesting."

"Gotcha," he says.

And he may not totally get it yet, but I chose to continue the conversation as opposed to saying, "SHIELD YOUR EYES! YOU WILL TURN TO STONE IF YOU LOOK AT A NAKED WOMAN!!"

The woman who believed that girls who catch a glimpse of a golden-skinned nude Kardashian are doomed to lead lives of degradation is missing a great opportunity to TALK.

People who don't like to talk, and who would like everything naked to be covered up, remind me of another famous family. The Duggar Family of "19 Kids and Counting" television fame.

Last year their oldest son—who worked in Washington to take the rights away from gay people and spoke about the virtues of saving even your first kiss until marriage—admitted to cheating on his wife numerous times with porn stars. He also had an active Ashley Madison account. His wife had been the very picture of pure mother to their four kids.

Growing up, Josh and his 18 siblings were taught holding hands was only allowed after they were engaged and that a woman is not allowed to dance (fully clothed) if a man is nearby, because she will "rile up feelings in the man."

Sure, maybe I didn't elicit the same lust as Kim Kardashian would but maybe, for some strange audience members, I did!

Instead of teaching his children self-control (My husband does not lose all sense, turning into a lustful uncontrollable beast, when he sees a woman dance, but apparently Jim Bob Duggar didn't think his sons could retain composure in this situation.)

So instead of TALKING, they just repress.

After Josh went to rehab for his "sex addiction," Jim Bob made a statement of guidance to help other parents who may be dealing with their unfaithful porn-addicted adult children.

"Remove all books, magazines, television or Internet that have worldly or sensual content from the home as a way to protect one's family. Replace them with good things, like wholesome music, biographies of great Christians, good old-fashioned family fun and games," he advised in an interview with People magazine.

This is exactly what the woman I referenced above seems to want. Don't talk about your feelings. Hide them. And hide ANYTHING sensual.

This story was out over Christmas break, when my family was staying at my in-laws' VERY "worldly" (as Jim Bob would called it) home in New Orleans. It so happens that my in-laws' home is covered in gorgeous art from my talented artist brother-in-law, Daniel. I had to chuckle when I looked at what was up in the room where Roan and I were sleeping.

What would Jim Bob think? *gasp*

But it's my belief that my son being exposed to this "sensual" content is a good thing, in that he won't be so repressed that he will go into a fit upon seeing a woman in a normal swimsuit. (These are the swimsuits the Duggars wear, again, so as not to "stir up" feelings in the men.)

People have been naked since the beginning of time. It's actually how God created us. And if Kim Kardashian wore a Wholesome Wear swimsuit (like in this picture), believe me, she'd still be sexy. So let's stop trying to control her, let's stop putting her into the "bad" box. Let's open a dialogue. Let's talk about how Jim Bob's rules DIDN'T prevent his son from being a trustworthy respectful husband. (The porn star he slept with has described sex with him as unnecessarily rough and demeaning.) How about teaching boys and girls to deal with their sensual feelings in a healthy way, instead of covering everything up?

Women can do many things, be many things. Men can learn not turn into sexual predators when they see a naked woman. I am a mother, I am well-educated, I am creative, I am in a happy 16-year marriage.

I also was naked in front of an audience last week. Totally naked.

I perform sketch and improv comedy at the very respectable world famous Groundlings Theater. I was recently interviewed by Ovation TV and CBS on "The Art of Improv." My colleagues are smart. Quick on their feet. Witty. (Dare I say smarter than Jim Bob Duggar?) So my friend Alex and I had a sketch where we were welcoming people to a nudist camp. And we were going down the list of all of the dangers one might encounter whilst being naked. Bug Bites, snakes, too much sun, cactuses.

And aside from fanny packs and clip boards (which we moved up and down with expression), we were 100 percent naked. And it was hilarious. It was liberating. Audience members put sunscreen on our bare bottoms, and I sprayed bug spray on Alex's bits and pieces. I 41, not in the best shape of my life, a mother who breast-fed and gave birth via c-section to an 11-pound baby.

I felt proud being naked.

RELATED: What I Told My Son About the Random Screaming Woman

Sure, maybe I didn't elicit the same lust as Kim Kardashian would but maybe, for some strange audience members, I did! And more power to me. Had a Duggar been in the audience, perhaps the stage would have been rushed by boys who've never seen a girl's naked body. Strangely, people just laughed and politely clapped. I felt great.

Moral of the story: If I want to be naked that's OK. If Kim Kardashian wants to be naked on the Internet, that's OK, too. The thing that's not OK is when we stop talking and start covering up.

The next time you want to spend hours dissing Kim Kardashian on the Internet, and make proclamations about what a bad mom she is, how about turning the computer off—and spending a little quality time with your kid.

Share this on Facebook?

More from kids