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The family and I just got back from vacation for Spring
Break. For the first time, I felt like I
actually had a vacation, too. That's because my kids are now 5 and 8. They can
both swim. They can both tell me when they have to go to the bathroom. Better
yet, they can find the restroom themselves.
But as I was able to enjoy a bit of quiet time in the sun
and get halfway through a book that didn't have pictures, I couldn't help but
feel empathy for the moms of 2-year-olds anxiously chasing their little cuties
around the pool or rushing back to their hotel rooms so their little ones could
get a nap. I felt sorry for them because
it wasn't that long ago that I was one of them.
And as much as I loved my chubby little toddlers, I was
relieved when they crossed over the hump, got out of diapers, didn't need high
chairs and were crib-free. I found the toddler years
far more exhausting than the sleep-deprived infant era. And I'm not afraid to
admit I was thrilled when the 2's were over.
There is no better form of birth control than spending an afternoon with a 2-year-old.
I like to joke with friends that there is no better form of
birth control than spending an afternoon with a 2-year-old. They're adorable, chubby and cute, but
2-year-olds are also tiny destroyers who never seem to run out of energy.
While on vacation, I wanted to meet the eyes of every beleaguered mom
of a toddler and tell her that 3 is just around the corner. And when her tantruming tyke is out of
diapers, sleeping in a real bed and able to articulate his own wants and
needs, she'll be thinking what every other mom is thinking when she sees a
2-year-old. I know I am.
1. He's adorable. So
glad he's not mine.
adorable, especially when you're not the one who has to spend the day teaching
him not to throw sand at the park or reminding him that hair isn't for pulling.
Every mom who takes a 2-year-old on vacation learns
very quickly that a vacation with a toddler is no vacation at all, at least not
for mom. But as your kids get older, traveling with them is pretty great. Just
4. Terrible Twos are nothing compared to life with a threenager.
Whomever coined the term
"Terrible Twos" clearly hadn't spent time with a 3-year-old. It might be harder before it gets easier,
but the toddler years do eventually end.
5. I hope that 2-year-old's mom knows a good chiropractor.
Most moms of 2-year-olds spend a good portion
of their day trying to keep their little one from running into the street,
falling in a fountain or hurling himself in harm's way. Every mom should be
allowed to register for a chiropractor visit. She'll need it once her kid turns
OK let's admit it, Moms. We all get a
bit smug once we're over the hump. It's
only because we've been there and we're glad we're not there. But moms of 2's
we feel ya, even if we're smiling on the inside.
7. Oh yeah, diapers.
Once your kid is out of diapers, cribs, lovies and pacifiers,
amnesia sets in. It has to, or none of us would ever have more than one child.
8. Please tell me that
2-year-old isn't sitting in the row in front of me.
I can't be the only mom who would prefer not
to sit near other people's toddlers on flights or in restaurants. Once you've raised a toddler, you know what
you're in for. And it starts with mashed up crackers everywhere!
9. If only you could
wrap a 2-year-old in bubble wrap.
Watching toddlers navigate pools and
parks makes one wonder why 2-year-olds don't come wrapped in something soft.
They need it!
Two-year-olds are like kamikaze fighters who
aim for the shins.
11. Here comes a tantrum!
Toddlers are unpredictable until you don't
have one. Then they all seem the same. They're smiling, they're excited, they're
too excited, then they're melting down. It happens every time.
12. I hope she has some
Every 2-year-old seems wild
and every mom of a 2-year-old seems tired. We can only wish that every toddler's
mom has a little extra help sometimes in the form of a caring relative or a
wonderful caregiver. It's more for the
mom than the kid.
13. Cute, but what the
heck is she saying?
Even if you
speak toddler, toddlers are nearly impossible to understand. Moms understand their
own children, but no one else does.