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17 Things 'Game of Thrones' Taught Me About Parenting

Warning: This post contains spoilers. Although, if you were really that concerned about spoilers, would you be on the Internet? Would you be reading an article about "Game of Thrones"? You are playing a dangerous game with your eyeballs. You've been warned.

"Game of Thrones" is the show that truly captures what it means to be a parent in this modern world (yes, more than "Parenthood" and "Modern Family"). I mean, I have two kids and Daenerys' horror at discovering her dragons have killed children and goats is more akin to what I feel when I see the Play-Doh mess than when Haddie on "Parenthood" discovered that Amber slept with her boyfriend. The fear and the pain and the struggle not to be slaughtered when you are out to eat is real. So here are all the things that "Game of Thrones" has taught me about parenting.

1. When your kid is on the throne and acting like a little punk, drink.

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2. After a baby, the night really is dark and full of terrors.

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3. This is literally how you feel when you go out to eat with a toddler.

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4. The post-baby body is real.

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5. Your kid will hurt you.

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6. Maybe don't make your kid an only child.

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7. Don't fuck with mom.

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8. Get yourself some help.

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9. Those late nights feel like being locked in a Bolton dungeon.

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10. Give your kids a good sense of self.

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11. Don't let your kids grow up to be assholes.

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12. Kids are terrifying.

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13. What childbirth is really like.

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14. There is a lot of mom guilt.

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15. There are a lot of smells.

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16. No matter how terrible they are, moms always love their kids.

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17. When you see another mom struggling at Target with her kids, hold the door.

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