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Sigh, Why Do Kids Ask the Deepest Questions Out of the Blue and in Public?!

Photograph by Twenty20

The other day my son and I were in a long check-out line at Target. We were in a sea of mothers and children with carts full of school supplies. There’s always plenty of ambient noise in Target—crying babies, weeping parents—but for a second, everything went quiet.

That’s when my son asked me, in his not-inside voice: “Mommy, people who get divorced hate each other, right?”

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I swear you could hear necks swiveling to stare at us. A few moms leaned close so they could hear my answer. We’d never discussed divorce before and my husband and I aren’t getting one.

“Well, son, it’s not necessarily hate.” I caught the eye of a mom in the lane beside me, who smirked. “It’s complicated.”

For the record, we had been discussing the newest "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie, not the state of holy matrimony.

Check out these questions posed to real parents by their real children out of the clear blue sky, and then tell me you don’t think this is a nationwide conspiracy to freak us out.

My daughter did the same thing recently. We were sharing a snack in the park, surrounded by other people. She pulled a pretzel from the bag, and asks, “Can you explain how a boy becomes a girl?” Oh my. Again, we had been discussing how many minutes until it was time to head home, when she hit me with the chance to explain sex reassignment surgery.

And I’m not alone.

I’ve seen it enough times to know that kids today have somehow all gotten the memo that the way to really throw us parents off our game is to spring a major topic of discussion on us when we least expect it.

Don’t believe me?

Check out these questions posed to real parents by their real children out of the clear blue sky, and then tell me you don’t think this is a nationwide conspiracy to freak us out.

1. "Where do we go when we die?" — Karl, age 5, while standing in line to go down a water slide

2. "Where do babies come from?" — Molly, age 4, while in the frozen food section of Trader Joe’s

3. "What is gun control?" — Javier, age 6, while walking to school with his mother and two brothers

4. "What does God look like?" — Matthew, age 5.5, while cooking pancakes with his mother

5. "Is Millie going to die soon?" — Simon, age 4, while standing in front of the receptionist, Millie, at his school

6. "Why does Donald Trump hate women?" — Beatrice, age 6, to her grandmother at a crowded restaurant

7. "Do you think fat people feel sad about their bodies all the time or only when they are eating?" — Sadie, age 6.5, sitting in the park, surrounded by dozens of kids and parents

8. "Why do some people have dark skin and some people have light skin?" — Andrew, age 4, in the middle of a school assembly

9. "What is bulimia?" — Lucy, age 7, at a neighborhood pool

10. "Daddy, what is a miscarriage? Did you ever have one?" — Mia, age 4, at the museum

11. "Why did the police make Rosa Parks sit in the back of the bus?" — Sofia, age 5, on a crowded city bus during rush hour

12. "Why did we kill all the Indians after the first Thanksgiving?" — Brayden, age 6, in the middle of synagogue in July

13. "Why do some babies die?" — William, age 6, at the zoo

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14. "How do you get hugs if you are in prison?" — Amelia, age 4, during carpool

15. "Are people who are in wheelchairs mad they can’t run relay races?" — Jordon, age 4, at swim lessons

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