The kids are heading back to
school and you can just feel the pressure in the air. No, I’m not talking about
tests, class assignments or volunteering—I’m talking about parents having to
take the perfect first-day-of-school photo.
Kids are being dressed up in their
new clothes, handmade signs have been drawn that say, “5th grade!” and props
are being carefully picked out and placed. (You’re not fooling anyone. We know
they’re just props. No one uses a feather pen anymore or chases after the
school bus on an old-timey tricycle.)
Man, these kids all look so
happy to be back at school! It’s as if they’re saying, “Thank God all those
carefree weeks of summer fun are over! I can't wait to sit at my hard wooden desk
and do times-tables!” You can just feel their excitement at getting back to
their mystery-meat lunches and cartons of expired milk.
But what if your kid doesn’t
actually like getting up at the crack of dawn to put on pants, mug for the
camera and then go to a place where someone tells them what to do for seven
hours? That’s OK because sometimes real-life is hysterical and your photo
will be priceless. (Don’t steal that quote, I’m putting it on my “First day of
grad school!” sign that I’m going to make for my kid’s photo in four years.)
Last year my daughter
refused to let me take a picture on her first day of her senior year, no matter
how many Starbucks Frappuccinos I tried to bribe her with. So I took a picture
of her breakfast burrito instead. That burrito ended up being way more
My kid refused a first-day-of-school pic so I had to take one of her breakfast burrito instead. I can't believe how much this burrito has grown since last year! Man, I'm so proud of this burrito. I love you, burrito! xo #backtoschool #firstdayofschool #foodie
Also there was the time I
forgot to take a photo in the morning so I wanted to “recreate” the moment after
school, and they were like, “What? No way, that’s so fake,” so I took a picture
anyway and I was all, "Stop walking away from me, children, and look like you're happy to be getting an education."
Then there’s this kid, who
pretty much sums up what every kid is really feeling inside. I wish I could see the face she makes when her teacher tells her she has to go home and change into closed-toe shoes.
Not very happy kids on first day back to school. #firstdayofschool #nothappy #4thgrade #2ndgrade #funny #happymom #backtoschool #yay #🏫 #😩 #😘
Be careful once they figure
out the conspiracy, because they’re going to be mad. You would be, too, if
you’d mentally prepared yourself for only six hours of this torture and then
you found out you had 250 more DAYS ahead of you. SOMEONE’S GONNA PAY.
He thought school was for a day only !!!Rotfl!!! #HebigMAD
The first day of school is
hard for online students, too. The upside is you can take a nap
at your desk. In your pajamas. The downside is your stuffed animals don't have any gum to sneak you during class.
And sometimes, even a brand
new Curious George lunchbox isn’t enough to get your feelings up off the floor.
(I happen to know this kid just graduated high school and according to his mom
he still isn’t a fan of the first-day-of-school pic, although she says at least
now he remains standing.)
Finally, there's this mom whose back-to-school pic went viral. She's not afraid to
let her feelings show about her kids getting the hell out of the house going
back to school, and we applaud her. Her kids will recover soon enough.