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So My Daughter Thinks I’m a Terrible Kindergarten Mom

Photograph by Twenty20

Back in preschool, my daughter's teachers offered special meetings to help parents best prepare for kindergarten. I sat with them and asked them questions like how I could help her succeed and how I could be the teacher's best ally, all the while my daughter played in the corner of the room. I thought she wasn't listening, but she was.

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This became apparent the first week of school, when I forgot to send a water bottle with her.

"I thought you were going to be a good kindergarten mom!" my daughter said, glaring at me.

All I could think of to say was, "Well, that's not a very nice thing to say."

When I ate the Veggie Straws it tasted like I was so disappointed in you.

In the weeks before my daughter started kindergarten, I thought I was prepared for everything. We had a new outfit, all the school supplies, a new backpack, three schedules synced with my Google calendar and a gift for the teacher. What I was not prepared for was my daughter's opinions on my performance as a newly minted kindergarten mom.

Here are five of the scorching opinions she's had as a kindergartner.

1. When I forgot that P.E. was on Monday and not Tuesday and sent her with the wrong shoes:

"They said my fashion shoes wouldn't work for gym. Fashion always works!"

2. When I sent Teddy Grahams for snacks instead of Veggie Straws:

"It's OK, you forgotted. But when I ate the Veggie Straws, it tasted like I was so disappointed in you."

3. When I forgot to wash her rest time blanket and sent it back to school:

"Maybe there are kindergarten mom lessons you can take."

4. After getting frustrated when her new friend wouldn't introduce himself to me:

"He's just in kindergarten, he hasn't learned manners yet."

5. On a boy at her school who doesn't follow the rules:

"That boy has fallen short of the glory of God!"

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