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8 Things My Daughter Would Learn if Amy Schumer Were Her Mom

Photograph by Instagram

I must admit, I have a total talent crush on comedienne Amy Schumer. Not only is she funny and fearless, but she’s also unflinchingly confident and unapologetic. Basically, she’s every girl’s hero. She definitely is mine.

And though Amy isn’t a mom herself, I can’t help but think that despite her potty mouth and self-proclaimed life as a lush, she’d make a pretty good mom. In fact, every girl could learn a thing or two about life from Amy. So if she were my daughter’s mom, here are a few things I think my kid could learn from Amy. And yes, I’m taking notes.

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1. Peace Out, Body Shamers!

Schumer has a normal body with normal curves. That means sometimes internet trolls can be unkind and vocal, but Amy’s quick to shut them down and she’s leading the charge for other females to do the same. She even posted a perfectly normal photo of herself in a swimsuit on her own Instagram and said, “This is how I look. I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy ... ” Yaaass!

2. There’s More to Life Than Being Pretty.

The comedienne recently called out Girls' Life Magazine for its cover, which boasted headlines like “Your Dream Hair” and “Fall Fashion You’ll Love” while the same month’s Boys' Life Magazine cover encouraged boys to explore their future.

When a heckler at one of Amy's shows screamed, 'Show me your tits!' Amy showed him the door.

3. She Shuts Down Sexism.

When a heckler at one of Amy’s shows screamed, “Show me your tits!” Amy showed him the door. And she took the rude heckler down in epic, hilarious fashion.

4. Be Unapologetic!

Schumer doesn’t apologize for anything, from her size to her potty mouth. It’s a good thing because both have gotten her to where she is today.

5. Be Fearless.

When Amy was new to the standup scene, she bombed night after night on tour. She lost confidence but finally got it back by telling an unamused crowd, “You guys are wrong. That was funny!” Her comment broke the ice. Her courage gave her the moxie to keep going.

6. My Daughter Would Probably Learn a Lot of Curse Words.

OK, so if Schumer were my daughter’s mom, my kid might have an extended vocabulary of curse words and dick jokes. But she’d also have confidence and a killer sense of humor, so who really cares?

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7. Family Is Everything!

Schumer’s sister Kim Caramele is often on tour with Amy and is Amy’s closest confidant, while Amy’s half-brother Jason Stein is often featured on her Instagram. Schumer keeps her siblings close, even if that means taking them on the road with her. Nice!

8. You Don’t Have to Be Stick Thin to Be Confident!

Schumer’s been criticized for her weight (for the record, she’s a size 6!), but she’s proud of her bod. Accepting her Glamour Trailblazer Award in 2015, Schumer said, "I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a d**k whenever I want. Like, that's the truth. It's not a problem."

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Who knew Amy Schumer would be a parenting role model? Well, she did.

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