If you believe the theory that parents should be the people they want their children to become, then the Fisher-Price Happy Hour Playset is the gift you should want for your kids this holiday season.
Equipped with fake beer bottles, bar stools and a pretend bar, it will give your children the opportunity to act like Mommy when she gets away for a girls' night out (minus the slurring missives about her impossible children). Accompanying the Happy Hour Playset should be Mommy's Medicine Cabinet, which is stocked with hangover remedies to get her through the next morning without murdering anyone before the kids leave for the school bus.
Oh, were the Fisher-Price Happy Hour Playset real! Alas, it is not.
The Fisher-Price hoax appeared online recently, with a Facebook user named Amiri King posting it on his page saying it was a gift for his daughter. King wrote:
"We were all eating dinner in this swanky restaurant. I was drinking a really nice margarita. I noticed a fat little hand just reach over and grab my margarita. I instantly identified this as Tilly (King's daughter) behavior. She sat the margarita in front of her, took a big drink from the straw, and said "ahhhhh." I laughed and told Tilly that my drink had "whiskey" in it. So now I constantly tease her about drinking margaritas. She gets pissed."
The playset was quickly deemed as a hoax by Snopes, which reached out to Fisher-Price, who told them, "Please know that this product is not endorsed, produced or approved by Fisher-Price."
Still, the internet has never let the truth get in the way of a good story about fake evil. Commenters everywhere blew a gasket:
"Seriously, teaching our children to drink at this age???????"
"Starting bad habits early ... Can't believe they make this horrible stuff for kids. To each (their) own, as for me I wouldn't get this for my babies. Cute as a grown-up concept though."
"It's not like it's a toy where you learn to drink alcohol. There's nothing wrong with being a bartender, but I do think it's odd that it's a toy for toddlers"
"Even though this is fake, having a child of my own, this in incredibly disgusting. 'Jokes' are why this world is full of losers."
"NO!!! Not cute!! It's exploitation of the young mind! They only sell these kinds of 'toys' in the hood! Remember the hypodermic needle pens a few years ago!" [Author's note: Um, nope.]
"Only in America does a (corporation) think it's cool to make little ones think this is OK. This is horrible, and we wonder why our family and friends' kids have problem with alcohol!!"
"Nice to teach (our) kids it's OK to drink! This really pissed me off. Who the f#$* thinks it is in any way OK for a damn child. Ff#$*ing stupid people I swear!"
Thankfully, though, others definitely got the joke, and loved it appropriately:
"Pre-installed issues or do we have to supply our children their own?"
"At least there is a pretend legal drinking age ... ages 3+. Can't have those terrible twos pretending to drink."
"To promote fine-motor skills, they include a DVD of the movie 'Cocktail,' where they learn from Tom Cruise how to flip bottles in the air and do fancy tricks."
"I definitely would get it for my granddaughter. It would be one way to ensure that I was never ask to babysit again."
"Looks like a scene you'd see at a popular Liberal Bar. Just missing CNN on a TV above the counter."
"I'm kinda sad it's not real. I would buy it and use it as a soda shop after I shocked the hell out of the in-laws ... lol."