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37 Things Parents Have Done But Will Never, Ever Admit

Photograph by Twenty20

Most of the time, we are all stellar parents doing everything we can to raise our little rascals in the best way possible. But dayyyuuummm, parenting is hard. And let’s be honest, sometimes we do things just to make it through the day. Whatever the case, we are all trying our best, right? Here are 37 things parents have done but will never, ever admit.

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1. Pretended to be deep in slumber so that the other parent had to get up and answer the toddler's middle-of-the-night cries

2. Let your kid stay home from school because you just didn’t have the energy to get her ready and there on time

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3. Gone through the kids' Halloween candy and kept the best picks

4. Felt better about yourself when you saw that mom at the mall whose kid was throwing a level 10 tantrum

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5. Caught yourself doing the exact same thing you recently yelled at your kid for doing

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6. Made those awful broccoli tater tots on Pinterest

7. Lost your shit when trying to get your kids to eat

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8. Hated every bite of breakfast in bed prepared by your kids

9. Jumped to your feet in combat mode when you wake to find your child standing next to your bed ... staring at you

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10. Dressed your kid a certain way just to avoid being judged by others

11. Given your kid the expired milk

12. Tried to scare your kid with your face

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13. Made up some lame excuse for the tooth fairy not coming

14. Thought that maybe you were raising a serial killer

15. Answered Dora when the TV was left on and your kid was nowhere to be seen

16. Lied about when you last showered

17. Lied about what time you put your kids to sleep

18. Made them work for you

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19. Had a nightmare about Caillou

20. Threatened to destroy the life of the person who put the whistle/kazoo/any noise making toy in the party favor bag

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21. Had a panic attack trying to move your arm from underneath a sleeping baby

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22. Handled parenting in an immature way

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23. Not answered your husband’s call because you were not done looking at Channing Tatum’s Instagram page yet

24. Counted on your fingers when helping your child with simple math

25. Put a towel down on top of the pee and just went back to bed

26. Cursed your parents' names

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27. Got your kid to eat one bite of vegetable and feel like a freaking champion

28. Let your kid sleep in the bed with you when your husband’s out of town so “your kid” won’t be scared

29. Lost all sympathy for your childless friend when she complained about being tired

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30. Wanted to punch someone giving unsolicited parenting advice in the face

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31. Shaken your kid out of sleep to make sure he was still breathing

32. Contemplated putting Benadryl in his sippy cup

33. Swayed back and forth when you’re not holding a baby

34. Told another grown adult that you have to go pottie

35. Opted for a nap over a night out with friends

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36. Felt like parenting was slowly killing you

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37. Given your kid the "I'm not messing around" mom grip

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