We're continuing to purge our rough parenting moments here at mom.me in hopes that we all can understand that no one is perfect, especially not us. In the spirit of sharing, and empathizing, and hopefully not too much judging, we're letting it all hang out. For our next installment of "7 Parenting Mistakes I Made This Week," meet Monique Ruffin, mom to Zion.
1. I skipped morning grooming, and lied about it.
After a 15 minute struggle I gave up and allowed my son to go to school with sleep in his eyes, teeth un-brushed and hair matted to his head. When his father asked if we had brushed his teeth, I lied and said yes.
2. My son has Down syndrome but I skipped speech therapy.
I did not insist that my son speak in full sentences like his speech therapist and father suggest I do. I allowed one word requests like “bathroom,” “water” or “hungry.” Sometimes it’s just too exhausting for both of us.
I let my son go to bed without having a bath on a day that he swims. That means his hair still has chlorine in it. Somehow I believe it’s not as important to wash his hair because he’s a boy.
4. I lost it at bedtime.
I screamed at him when he got out of the bed for the third time. I did not say “Go the F%^$^K to sleep” but I really wanted to. I did scream like I was crazy.
I took my son to the doctor and insisted he give us antibiotics.
5. I'm still wiping his butt.
I wiped his butt after he went number 2. I can’t stand to see him pulling at his pants and scratching his butt, so I’m still wiping my 6-year-old’s butt, even when people keep telling me to stop and let him figure it out. I hate dirty underpants.
6. I insisted on unnecesary antibiotics.
Every winter we have lived on antibiotics for ear and nasal infections. Children with Down syndrome can be prone to these types of infections because their nasal passages tend to be smaller. We had a good winter this year. Only one cold and it seemed to be healing without medicine. No matter, at day eight I took my son to the doctor and insisted he give us antibiotics. He didn’t think it was needed but I nearly cried and pleaded until he gave me a prescription. I later realized it was unnecessary.
I did not comfort my son after he hit his head when he pulled away from me to avoid getting his hair combed. I actually walked away as he rubbed his head and cried. As I walked away I was thinking, maybe he’ll do what I ask next time.